Page 160 of Collision
“Yes, I heard. But in all honesty, I don’t care. You can’t control your feelings, and the ones I have for you are so strong that they won’t allow me to give up.”
“Maybe you should,” I retort, getting irritated.
“Is that what you want me to do?”
“I don’t want problems. If you don’t back off, I assure you there will be problems.”
“So you’re asking me to back off because you’re afraid for me, not because that’s what you really want?” It’s a question with a healthy dose of presumption in it. Afraid for him? Well, yes, of course. I am partiallyworried about him, but he can’t seriously think that’s the main reason I’m making this decision?
“Do you think I’m afraid of Thomas?” I ask softly, getting more annoyed.
“Don’t think that I don’t know how sketchy and out of his mind that dude is, and I don’t blame you for feeling intimidated. You are just one more poor victim who has fallen into his trap. I see he was careful not to define your relationship. What a disgusting coward. He convinced you to be his but he didn’t actually make you his girlfriend. With me, there would be none of that. You could be happy, you could have everything that—”
I interrupt him, because I have heard more than enough.
“You’ve got it wrong, Logan. Completely. I’m not telling you this out of fear. I’m telling you this because I don’t need to be his girlfriend to know that what I feel for him is stronger than anything else I’ve ever felt. I don’t need to be his girlfriend to know that he is the person I want by my side. Him, and no one else. I’m sorry if I hurt you and I’m sorry I acted the way I did, but don’t ever talk about him like that again, because you don’t know him.” I dart a quick look at him before I get up off the floor, grabbing the bag I left beside the table. I slip on my shoes and head for the door.
“Vanessa, wait.” Logan stands up and joins me. “I’m sorry if what I said upset you, that wasn’t my intention. I’m just confused and angry right now. I need a moment, okay? I think I’m entitled to that, right? I mean, I just found out you spent these last few days with him. But please, please don’t go. Stay with me, at least for dinner. No hard feelings.”
“It’s late, Logan, and I said what I needed to say to you. It doesn’t make sense for me to stay any longer.” I’m about to grab the doorknob, but he stands in front of me.
“I can take you home at any time, that’s no problem. But don’t leave me alone. Please, I don’t like feeling abandoned.” He stares desperately at me.
“Logan…” I say uncertainly. I can’t deny that seeing him likethis makes me sad, but I don’t want to give him false hope by staying here.
“Please,” he begs me again.
I sigh but finally decide to humor him. If what he needs now is a little company, I can give him that. “Okay, but only for a little while. And I don’t want to talk about Thomas anymore.”
He nods fervently. “Whatever you want.”
I put my bag back on the floor and I head for one of the two armchairs in front of the TV. I sit in it, while Logan takes the one next to it. We pass the time with a little more TV, and once we get past that initial awkward silence, the situation becomes less and less tense. To melt a little of the ice that has inevitably formed, Logan offers to make me some hot ginger tea. He tells me about his family, how he spent his days at home. I learn that his mother is a very successful lawyer and that his father is a judge. He doesn’t have any brothers or sisters and so he often goes home to help his parents. Time passes slowly and, before I know it, I am overwhelmed by an inexplicable drowsiness, so I begin to doze.
Slowly, I slip into a kind of strange, confused half-sleep. I could not tell exactly when I fell asleep nor how long I’d been that way before I started hearing muffled knocks, as if someone were pounding ferociously on a door.
I can hear my name being called over and over again. I can hear the tension and fear in the voice that is saying my name, like a cry of alarm. I want to answer, but for some reason I can’t. I feel stiff and weak. The voice, which is gradually becoming more and more familiar, keeps calling tirelessly for me. I begin to realize who it is.
Thomas…
“Ness, open this door!” I open my eyes with difficulty, but I see only nothingness. I blink over and over again, trying to pick out something, anything, but the darkness envelops me completely. “Where am I? Why does Thomas keep calling me and why am I lying on a bed that isn’t mine?”
I’ve fallen asleep. How? When? My throat tightens. I jump to my feet and rush out of the room.
Sitting in the armchair in the living room, watching TV unperturbed, I find Logan. Why did he let me sleep? Why didn’t he drive me home like he said he would?
“Logan.” At the sound of my voice I see him jolt. “What am I doing here? Why did I wake up in your bed?”
“You fell asleep in the armchair but you looked uncomfortable, so I took you to the bedroom,” he answers calmly.
The knocking on the door continues unabated, as does Thomas’s voice ordering me to come out. I wasn’t dreaming, Thomas is really out there! When I realize the gravity of the situation, my eyes widen and I turn my outrage on Logan. “What were you thinking, letting me sleep here? And can’t you hear that Thomas is outside? Why the hell didn’t you open the door?”
I pull my phone out of my overalls pocket and, in addition to realizing that it’s two in the morning, I also see an endless series of missed calls from Thomas. And now he’s right out here, more enraged than ever. And he has every reason to be. I move quickly to the door. I hear the squeak of the armchair and realize that Logan is following me.
“Wait.” As soon as I put my hand on the doorknob, he grabs my wrist.
I look down at his hand and then back up at him, giving him a sideways look. “Let me go now.”
More knocks rattle the door. “I swear if you don’t open this fucking door in three fucking seconds, I’m gonna break it down,” Thomas bellows. Logan looks at me blankly for a moment and something in his stare disturbs me. Then, as if he has just come to his senses after a bout of amnesia, he quickly lets go of my hand and recoils as though stunned.
