Page 117 of The Vanishing Place
Effie shook her head. “I don’t trust myself. I’m terrified that one day I’ll wake up and want to go back.” She looked down at her hands. “If I stay here, I’ll never escape him.”
Lewis pressed his lips to her head. “But I only just got you back.”
“I know.”
Effie bit into her tongue, her body burning in a strange and exciting way, wanting things that she barely understood. Things thatshe’d only read about in books. She closed her eyes, like they did on TV, and moved in to kiss him. But when she was close enough to feel his breath, close enough to feel the thump of his heart, Lewis pressed a hand to her shoulder, stopping her.
“Effie, I…” He shook his head. “I’m so sorry.”
She opened her eyes, the pain like a knife to her heart, and stared at him.
“We can’t, Effie.”
She frowned. “I don’t understand. Don’t you want to kiss me?”
“Of course I do.” He shook his head again. “But we can’t. Not yet.”
“But I’m leaving”
Lewis shuffled back, like touching her made him feel sick.
“Why won’t you kiss me?” she shouted.
“I…”
“Why?” Effie shouted again. “Tell me.”
“Effie, I want to kiss you more than anything.” He ran his hands through his hair. “Christ, it’s all I think about. It’s—”
“Then what’s wrong?”
“You’re fifteen, Effie.” He stopped and looked at her. “And I’m an eighteen-year-old cop.”
“So?”
“So, we…we just can’t.”
“It’s just a stupid kiss.”
Lewis tensed and his jaw clenched.
Effie hesitated. “Do you want to do more than kiss?”
“Of course I do. Of course, I—”
“You can do whatever you want to me.”
“Effie, don’t say that.”
“I’m not a kid anymore,” she said. “And I’m leaving tomorrow.” She swallowed. “I want you to do it. I want to do it with you.”
Lewis turned away from her. “We just can’t, Effie,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry.”
“Then go,” she said.
“What?” He looked at her, his eyes wet.
“Go,” she said. “I don’t want you here.”
