Page 87 of Fate of Echoes and Embers
“At what cost?” she asked.
That was a question I simply could not answer.
35
ISSA
“I wish you well on your journey.”
I made my way back down the secret palace entrance with Nerys where I would meet up again with Marek.
“Thank you for your support, though I do worry that Gyoria will not take your involvement well.”
“Then perhaps Balthor should keep his clan from supporting an unrightful claim.”
“Do you think he knows of it?”
“As king, it is his duty to know. More likely, he does not care.”
“Or supports any instability in Estmere.”
“Aye, or that.”
We emerged from the palace, Nerys’s guard not far behind.
“No sign of Marek.” She scanned the coast and then turned to me. “Issa,” she said, her gaze open and sincere. “I have known Marek a long time. He is insufferable and unwieldy, but as you must know by now, there is nothing he would not do for those he loves. And I have no doubt, he loves you.”
“I believe he does,” I agreed. “It took some time for me to realize. Marek hides his true feelings well. And I love him too. But my duty is to Hawthorne. Or it was,” I said. “Until I failed them.”
“You did not fail them,” Nerys said, steel in her voice. “I could not have taken the crown from Queen Lirael without support. Asking for, and accepting aid, is a strength and not a weakness.”
She was right, of course.
“I wish you had been able to speak more with Rowan. His situation was very similar to your own,” she said.
I knew some of Rowan’s background from Marek, but much of it was still a mystery.
“His family lineage is long and prestigious. He too struggled with the duties to which he was born and remaining here, in Thalassaria, with me.”
“Remaining,” I said, watching the ebb and flow of the tide. From here, I could not seeTidechaser, tucked away behind the rock outcropping, but would be glad to board her once again. “Rowan is doing much more than that.”
“Something he also never bargained for, and it’s not always been easy. We are no Gyoria, but there are many here who cling to the old beliefs.”
“Including a mistrust of humans.”
“Including that,” she admitted. “Some have been alive for hundreds, or even thousands, of years. Their memories are long and, sometimes, their tolerance for change short. But we have come a long way. As for Rowan and the decision he made, one you will too… the question is not whether you have failed Hawthorne, but whether you will allow that fear to dictate the rest of your life. I had to choose between my past and my future, between what was expected of me and what I truly wanted, as did Rowan. You must make that choice, too. But remember, if your heart is divided, you will never belong fully to either path. Choose, and do not look back.”
If your heart is divided, you will never belong fully to either path.
She understood me in ways I barely understood myself. Experience was a master teacher, but there were other barriers between Marek and me too. Ones she and Rowan had navigated.
“His humanity? And your immortality?” I asked, unsure how to phrase the question.
“We don’t have all the answers yet to that, I will admit.”
I’d been hoping for more, but her candor was appreciated.
As Marek appeared, my heart raced at the sight of him, as it always did. It ached too as I remembered the message Rowan had delivered.
