Page 91 of Recklessly You
* * *
It’s beentwo weeks since they released me from the hospital. My wounds are healing quicker than I expected. The doctor says it’s because I’m in good health. I lean back on the sofa and stare up at the ceiling. A sigh escapes me as Duke jumps on the sofa and nuzzles his snout on my lap.
“I’m glad I have you, buddy. I’m going to get our girl back. I just have to do one more thing. I know I’m ready for the next step. I’ll go find her.” He makes a huffing sound that sounds like a sigh of relief. Ever since I was discharged from the hospital, he has been sticking by my side like glue.
“I have to visit Dad. It’s been way too long since I’ve been to see his grave.” He gives me a nudge. “I know. I’m heading there now.” I get off the sofa and grab my keys.
Twenty minutes later, I arrive at the graveyard where my father and siblings are laid to rest. I kneel on the grass and carefully place the bouquet of flowers I purchased from a vendor by the side of the road into the vase.
“Hola, Papá, Noah, and Daniel. I’m sorry, Papá, that I stopped coming to see you. The guilt wouldn’t let me. It was eating me up. Losing you was hard…I’ve missed you so damn much. I couldn’t unsee you dying on the floor, leaving you there alone.” My voice cracks. “Despite my desire to care for others, I felt as though I was not capable or worthy enough to fulfill that role as a man. I was never interested in falling in love, Papá. I couldn’t stand watching Mamá strain herself to make ends meet. I’m not mad at you about it. You treated her like a queen, and it was not your fault. I was afraid of moving on from this—and I didn’t know how.” I take a sharp breath, inhaling the fresh breeze enveloping me as tears roll down my cheeks.
“It took a beautiful woman to shine light into my life. But I went and fucked it all up, saying some cruel shit to her. I pushed her away to save her from this life. I thought I was saving her, but I hurt her. What do I do? I never thought I’d experience love, Papá. I could really use a man-to-man talk. I wish you could meet her. She has this cute accent, oh, and the most beautiful blue eyes that are so memorizing.”
I grin, plucking a blade of grass, thinking of Sophie and how I fucked her on the grass next to the lake. God, she has a way of making me smile even when she’s not present. I clear my throat.
“Sorry, Papá, my mind went off to, you know…a man’s dirty thoughts. So, yeah, she makes me laugh, she has long blonde hair, and she’s a firecracker, a big sassy pants. Mamá adores her, and I’m in love with her. She doesn’t know it yet. If I get her back—wait, no,whenI get her back—I’m going to treat her like you treated Mamá, like the queen she is. I’ll make her smile and laugh and give her the world, just as you did to Mamá. I’ve always wanted to follow in your footsteps. I hope I’ve made you proud, and I’ll continue to do so.” Another tear strays down my cheek.
“I saw you, Papá, when I felt myself fading. I was dying…you—you brought me back. I thought I dreamed it, but I know I didn’t. I remember so vividly your smile—you said it wasn’t my time. I knew then that everything would be okay. You’re my guardian angel, and I promise to make you proud and continue your legacy. I’ll make sure to have lots of stories for Mamá one day for you. Until then, Papá, I’ll go find my girl and bring her here so you can meet her. She’s beautiful. See you soon. Te quiero, Papá.”
* * *
Rising from my position,I begin walking to my vehicle as I see a white truck drive up. My dad’s ex-partner Detective Rick Johnson, steps out. I haven’t seen him for quite a while, a couple of years, I’d say. His son, Mike Johnson, took over as a detective once he retired.
“Liam,” he greets me.
I nod. “Detective Johnson. How are you doing? What brings you here?”
He pats me on the back. “Ex-detective. Call me Rick, son. Seems more appropriate since I was your father’s close friend.” He glances at my father’s tombstone. “I’ve been coming here twice a month for the last few years since your father passed away.”
It shocks me right down to my toes. I knew he was a good friend of my dad. I remember him coming over a couple of times when I was a kid—theywerepartners—but I didn’t think he would still be visiting his grave regularly after all these years.
“Really?” I say, trying not to sound so shocked.
“Liam, do you have a minute? I’ve been waiting for the right time to talk to you.” He scratches his white beard, and his brows scrunch up.
“Sure,” I drawl, gesturing to the bench beside us.
He nods. We take a seat.
“Liam, there’s something that’s been eating me up for years. I come and talk to your father because he’s the only one who knows what went down. We agreed that night to keep quiet. Well, he wanted to keep quiet for me—for my sake. I…I just never thought this would happen.”
My brows furrow and sweep his face, but his head is down, as if he’s contemplating how to go about his confession, if that is what it is.
“What happened, Rick?”
He exhales and looks up at me with sadness in his eyes. “Before he passed away, your father and I worked together on a case. He was an excellent detective. The night at the bust, we didn’t just find drugs. Pablo had been trafficking women. Pablo’s brother warned he would abduct my daughters and sell them to make up for the women we freed in the bust. I freaked out and shot him in the head. Manny suggested we keep it between us so I wouldn’t get in trouble. He said he would have done the same if anyone had threatened his family. I called it in as one though of his own men had shot him.” He shakes his head.
Suddenly, it all clicks into place. Pablo mistook my father for Rick and believed he was the one who had murdered his brother.
“Blood for blood, a life for a life,” I say, my voice hoarse. I never understood why Pablo said those words, but my father knew, and he never said a word. He didn’t confess who had really killed Pablo’s brother, even when his own life was at risk.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Liam. That bullet was meant for me. We never thought they would come after me. My mistake caused your family so much pain. The guilt has been eating me up for years. You went through so much. That night when I arrived at your house and found you with the gun in your hands, I was crushed. I’m not asking for forgiveness, Liam…I needed to tell you—”
Through the shock has come a sense of recognition—I’d always expected something like this. I knew that bullet wasn’t intended for my father, but he’d accepted it with dignity. He was never one to back down or turn away. My father was a man of honor, a man many admired.
As much as I want to be pissed at his damn mistake, I can’t be. My father wanted it this way, and Rick was defending his daughters. They didn’t know the outcome of this. Rick has been punishing himself for decades, just as I have.
“I’m not mad, Rick. I forgive you.” I mean it.I forgive him.
