Page 96 of Always You
I scan his profile. He’s wearing sweats and a hoodie. Brian’s incredibly handsome. “You jog here every night?”
“I’ll jog in the mornings or nights depending on my schedule; you know.”
It’s been more than a month since I’ve talked to him; since the night of Halloween. Brian’s a great guy. What a shame feelings never flourished for him. I fell in love with the wrong man.
“So, tell me what has you so down, honey, I see it in your eyes.”
I sigh with relief staring into the ocean waves. Brian has always been easy to talk to. I guess you can say I viewed him more as a friend than a lover. I had cut our relationship short; sex was great, that’s all it was. We didn’t get to explore what could have been.
“So much has happened; I’m still trying to wrap my head around it all. You remember when I told you my dad died in a fire?”
He nods.
“A witness came forward after all these years.” Taking a breath in, I continue. “Turns out Dominic’s mom started the fire.”
“Wait, what? By accident or on purpose. Jeez, Mila, I’m sorry.”
I lick my chapped lips due to the cold winter breeze.
“I’m not sure, but I’m pretty sure it was on purpose. I just don’t know why.” My voice breaks.
He leans to hold my hand… stroking my knuckles.
“What does Dominic say about all this?”
The mention of Dominic’s name has me withering like a garden of dry, wilted flowers. I dip my head down, poking at the sand—tears spill.
“I-I haven’t spoken to him. I never want to speak to him. I found his ex at his place. She said they were back together. He lied to me; I’m just so confused,” I say in between sobs.
I’m embarrassed to be crying in front of Brian, my ex, for another man who broke me as if what we had been nothing. Maybe it was to him. Brian wraps his warm arms around me.
I embrace his warmth, feeling secure in his arms. His lips brush on the top of my head dropping a kiss. He gently strokes my back soothingly. “I’m so sorry, Mila. If there’s a way to take all this pain away, I would do it in a heartbeat.”
“You’re sweet, and I know you would.” The truth is I believe he would, and I just can’t offer him anything more than friendship for now or maybe ever. My heart will always belong to one man. I bestowed my heart, my soul, to him at the age of sixteen and he never returned it. Dominic left me hollow inside, and I let him in knowing he could destroy me. Brian brushes my tears with his thumb.
“How about a cup of coffee at my place? I would say the coffee shop, but it’s closed.” His blue eyes twinkle with the moonlight.
“Coffee sounds good right now.”
He stretches his hand out for me to take, helping me up. His apartment is close by, within walking distance. Once we get to his place, he pops the pod into the coffee maker. Brian talks about school and how he will be graduating this year. I’m proud he worked hard to earn his biology degree
“How’s Dante doing? Has he seen his dad?”
My heart cracks lying to my son, but I’m doing it to protect him.
“He’s doing good. He asked for his dad. Lying to him has been so hard. I told him Dominic had to work out of town for a couple of weeks. I feel so bad, Brian, I need to protect him from Dominic’s mother. I don’t know what she’s capable of. Once she’s locked up and we sort things out, I will allow him to see Dante.”
Brian pulls a chair out and takes a sip of his coffee. “Don’t feel bad, Mila; you’re a wonderful mother; protecting your son will always come first. Stay strong, pretty girl.”
I don’t feel like an excellent mother. Brian hands me a cup of scorching coffee. I moan into my cup as it warms me up.
“He asked if he could see him at my place supervised. I feel bad. I’m just not ready to see or talk to him yet.”
“Mila, self-care is important. Take time for yourself. Your wounds are fresh; you need your time, and he has to understand that. He cheated on you, Mila. You just found out what his mother has done. This is big; take the time you need to heal.”
He’s right; I need time.
I stare at my cup of coffee. Brian lifts my chin.
