Page 44 of Always You
And there she goes with the guilt trip she repeatedly takes me on.
“You know I appreciate you, but Mila would have also been there for me, but you pushed her away from me for your own selfish reasons. If you could please leave. I’m done talking to you.”
Her cold eyes stare into mine as she walks off, slamming the door behind her. I lean back in my chair and run my fingers through my hair. I don’t know what my mom has against Mila; I won’t let her come between us again.
* * *
After the long night, I stumble into my silent condo. Its walls echo with my heavy steps. I grab an ice-cold beer from the fridge, peel away the tab, and collapse into my worn recliner. I take a long swig of the beer, letting its carbonated bubbles wash away my exhaustion. I haven’t heard from Mila since yesterday’s lunch. I’ve been so busy I haven’t had the time to text her. I’m worried she might change her mind about our lunches. I’m unsure if she still sees that guy. I’ll do what I can to win her back. I know it bothers her that I was engaged, and that I believed every lie my mother had declared to me. She may not believe it, but my mind always wondered where she was, and who she was with. My body only craves hers. All other women were meaningless fucks to get release. I meant everything I said to her at Heidi’s. She’s my queen, the only woman for me. I pull out my phone to text her. She might be in bed already. Just the thought of her in bed has me yearning to be the person lying next to her.
Me:Hey baby, are you still up? Sorry, I haven’t texted you been so busy we had two call-ins today and I had to work the kitchen.
I click send and wait like a desperate man for her text. I see the dots bubble so she’s awake.
Mila:Hey! No worries, I understand. I’ve had a lot of clients; been busy myself.
I breathe a sigh of relief as she texts me back.
Me:How’s my boy doing? How was his day?
I recognized myself in the photos Mila had given me. He’s perfect with his goofy smile. I’m eager to see him again. I want to be the dad I never had.
Mila:He had a great day at school. He did get in trouble today for wrestling ? According to him, he’s Spiderman and his friends were the villains, and he had to catch them, and they wrestled. This boy is an obsessed Spiderman fan.
This has me laughing so hard. I can imagine the face of the nuns scolding him for wrestling. It reminds me of one scene inNacho Libre. One of my favorite movies. My brothers and I always watch it and we crack up, every time. Maybe sometime soon we can watch it together.
Me:That has me laughing hard, Angel. So, my boy is obsessed with Spiderman? Don’t blame him, Spiderman’s cool. Ha, I was always wrestling with my brothers as a kid, must’ve picked it up from me. Baby, I miss you! Can we meet tomorrow for lunch? I can’t wait until Friday.
I feel like such a lovesick puppy. When I said she only likes men rough around the edges, I meant me. Damn, this woman brings me to my knees. She awakens every organ in me. I have never felt so possessive over anyone. I want her all to myself, and the thought of another man talking and looking at what’s mine, makes me infuriated. On my fucking deathbed five years ago, I told her I wanted her to find happiness and a second chance at fate. My words were spiked with a hint of jealousy. God gave me another chance in life to be a father and like hell I will I let her or Dante go. Four long minutes pass before she responds.
Mila:Yes, must have picked it up from you. I can’t do lunch tomorrow. Sorry, I actually have plans for lunch tomorrow. How about Thursday at one?
What the fuck! Lunch plans for tomorrow with who? I can feel my jaw clench. I get another beer from the fridge and gulp it down. Is she going with dickhead Ken, or someone else? The thought of that makes me so...
Me:Lunch with Who?
She answers immediately.
Mila:A friend.
Me:Sophie?
Mila:No, not Sophie.
Me:Who’s the friend?
What the hell! I’m clutching my phone so tight it might crack. So, if it isn’t Sophie, then who? All she says is afriend,like she doesn’t want to say who. Like hell, she’s going with another man to lunch or anywhere matter-of-factly.
Me:Is it a man you’re going with, Mila? Because it better not fucking be, Mila, You’re mine! You’re fucking mine!!
Fuck, she drives me crazy. I know I have no right to go caveman.
Mila:Dominic, what the fuck!! If it is or isn’t, it’s not your business. We are not together. We are friends, for Dante’s sake. This was our agreement. Have a good night. If you want to meet Thursday to talk more about Dante, let me know.
Goddamn, this woman is going to have me bust a nut. I throw my phone on the couch. Just when I thought things were going great, I fuck it up with my jealousy. Hell, doesn’t she fucking see I want her and her only? She’s hurt and I don’t fucking blame her. If the roles were reversed, I would be too.
Me:Fuck I’m sorry baby. Thursday is fine at one. Meet me at my restaurant. We can have lunch there. Good night, Angel. And you are mine always have been.
God, I’m such a pussy. She has me wrapped around her finger, and she doesn’t even know it. I wait to see if she writes back. Five minutes later.
