Page 32 of One Chance to Stay
“I’ll give you the blow-by-blow at my next shift. But I needed to ask you a question.”
“Are you gay?”
Mabel Syrup defied every expectation I had about drag performers. My first night at the bar, she introduced herself. Without the wig and makeup, I’d have thought her another patron. She never declared her sexuality or gender, for that matter. After years of working there, I learned she had a fluidity, moving between labels. She’d proudly state there wasn’t a box big enough for the fabulous Mabel Syrup. Her very presence gave people a beacon as they came out of their closets.
“Uhm. Yeah. That question.”
“Do you think you’re gay?”
I shrugged as if she could see it.
“This is the same thing I tell all the baby queers.” I already knew her statement. It had become an anthem, and every person at Spectrum recited it by heart. “Love sets us free from cramp boxes.”
“I like him.” The smile stretched across my face. I didn’t want to repay him for his kindness. I didn’t want to break downhis defenses out of curiosity. Glimpsing inside Seamus’s fortified walls I wanted another dance.
“You are a gorgeous human. Another gorgeous human, and boy, he best be nothing short of spectacular, is giving you the butterflies. Is a label holding you back?”
“No.”
“Then love.” For a moment, I thought the silence meant she hung up. Mabel had a knack for exiting after a poignant piece of advice. “In case you didn’t hear it, that was the sound of me dropping the mic.”
The ache in my chest had nothing to do with uncertainty. It was a relief. Someone had named the thing I was too afraid to say: I wanted this. For Seamus, I didn’t need a label. She knew how to reach into a person’s chest and massage their heart to life. I had my priorities realigned. I’d risk a face full of glitter to give Mabel a kiss right now.
“When I get back, let’s grab dinner.”
“Aww. Baby bear thinks he can court Mabel.”
“I meant?—”
“Trying to date above your class.”
“Food. I meant?—”
“The locals will think I’m handing out pity dates.”
“You’re insufferable.”
“And lovable.”
I grinned. “And lovable.”
“Go make some memories. I’ll expect far more detail at dinner.”
“Thanks, Mabel.”
“Anytime, baby bear.”
When she hung up, the smile refused to settle. I needed an excuse to see Seamus. Well,Ididn’t need an excuse, but I wanted him to have an out if things got too real. If I barged into the hardware store with a problem, then…
“Evelyn, I’m so sorry.”
I walked over to the door and pulled at the knob. Already loose, it separated. With another tug, I pulled the old knob from the door.
“I hopesomebodyat the hardware store can help me fix this.”
I stepped into the hallway and pulled the door shut. The rest of the handle fell off, hitting the floor. “Wait? No.” Kneeling down, I realized I had pulled the entire handle apart. Locked out of my room, my staged disaster had turned into a real one.
“So, we’re going to pretend that was intentional.”
