Page 46 of Seductive Architect
“But you’re?—”
“Wired?” I tapped my temple. “What do you think thisis? People are just complicated computers. The only difference, our programming doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.”
“But… you’rehuman.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. If it had been Wyatt, he’d talk about being an alien. If it were Drew, he’d reassure Hudson that he mattered. Janet would make an offhand comment about why he hadn’t taken off his pants. This is where words eluded me. Emotions weren’t my strong suit.
“I’m not great with people.” I chuckled at the understatement. “They’re confusing. I tell everybody it’s my powers that make me prefer machines. But honestly, I’ve just never felt like my brain worked like other people’s. Computers are logical. I can understand them in ways I’ve never been able to with people.”
“Is that why…” He chewed his lip as he mustered the courage to ask his question. “Is that why you like me?”
Maybe? He had been a curious person on the first day we met in my office. Then he moved to the board and became a person of interest. I didn’t want to lie to him, but I found the answer more complicated than a simple yes or no.
“Maybe,” I admitted. “I mean, it was your smile first and foremost.” A grin flashed across his face. “It could be because we speak the same language.” My eyes dropped for a moment. “I’m not great at feelings.”
“This is a lot of firsts. I don’t know what to think. Imean… what about my parents? Why do I exist? Who made me? Everything is… It’s a lot.”
“That’s the most human thing I’ve heard in days.” I tightened my grip on his hand. “Sounds like an identity crisis.”
He slumped back against the couch, letting out a shaky breath. “Who am I?”
I couldn’t fathom the thoughts running through his head. If I thought his code worked fast before, every time he posed a question, it was as if it picked up the pace. He needed a single point to focus on.
“Why did you try to stop the robbers at the bank?”
He glanced at me. His muttering stopped. Guilt wasn’t something I felt on a day-to-day basis. In this case, I had upended his entire universe to get to the truth. I went into our date ready to say that getting answers mattered more than his feelings. I wanted to slap my younger self.
“It’s kind of important.” I wanted to know the logic behind his actions, but I think he also needed to understand the why.
He hesitated, eyes darting to the floor. “They were breaking the law.”
“That’s it? You put your life on the line because of laws?”
His eyes dropped, focusing on the table. “Sort of.” He grew quiet. I dropped the gauntlet on the coffee table andsat next to him. “People work hard. That could have been their entire life savings. I could have stopped them.”
“You did it out of the kindness of your heart.”
He shrugged.
“That wasn’t a question.” I rested a hand on his chest, painfully aware of the warm skin under my palm. “You wanted to do good. Unlike the average person, youcouldhave stopped them. I’m not the authority on all things human, but that sounds pretty human to me.”
“But—”
“Arthur is going to kill me for this.” Hudson leaned back, the suspicion written across his face. “I prefer talking to my computer. Wyatt is an alien. Drew… Drew’s a human with powers. Hell, even Janet claims she’s the reincarnation of a goddess. In my world… human is a subjective term.”
“An alien?”
In one statement, I had violated everything Arthur required from us. My permanent record was going to double in size before this ended. It’d be worth it if I could provide some peace of mind for Hudson. I could hear Kiki’s voice in the back of my head, urging me to tap into thosefeelingsfestering in my gut. She’d be delighted to hear her preachings were having an effect.
“I’m sorry.”
“For?”
Deep breath. I didn’t have therightwords… just words, and a lot of them. I realized I could still feel the slight thumping of his heart. My face turned red as I realized a half-naked man sat on my couch.
“There’s something weird happening in Vanguard… specifically with Synergy. I’ve been following the trail, and…” Facts. Spitting out facts, I dodged the knot growing tighter in my stomach. “I wanted the truth and didn’t think about what it might mean for you. I’m sorry. None of this was ever meant to hurt you.”
We sat in silence. I removed my hand from his chest, tucking it in my lap. Already, my brain ran a mile a minute, trying to connect all the pieces of the puzzle. My fingers dug into my palm, hard enough that it hurt. I needed a distraction to keep me in this moment.
