Page 56 of Rules for Heiresses
“I don’t know. He’s trying to push me away, for what he believes to be my own good. It’s not, though, but he won’t hear it.”
To Ravenna’s surprise, her sister-in-law chuckled. “I’m not amused at your expense, sister dear, but what you are recounting reminds me so much of how I felt with your brother. We stubborn-hearted fools do so love to bear our heavy burdens on our own. I felt that Rhystan did not need to be saddled with me or shoulder any hardship that marrying me would bring. But that washischoice, not mine to make for him.”
“I remember,” Ravenna said. It sounded very similar to what Courtland was trying to do. “What should I do, then? When I try to talk to him, he shuts me out.”
“Don’t give up.”
“Easier said than done.” The answer was simple, though maddening at the same time. Her husband was well practiced in pushing people away and keeping them at a distance. His heart was walled in and barricaded from any and all interlopers. Including her. “Did you know we were engaged once? When we were young.”
“Rhystan mentioned it.” Sarani deftly burped Anu by gently patting her rump and back, and then switched her to the other breast. “But it was called off?”
Ravenna’s mouth twisted. “I was told he’d died of illness somewhere on the Continent. His family went into mourning. But what actually happened was that his stepmother was the one to send him away from England with a handful of money and a few servants.”
“That’s terrible.”
Her shoulders lifted into a shrug. “We were children. Cordy and Stinson were the only boys outside of my brothers that I knew, and such a betrothal arrangement didn’t mean anything real for either of us at that age.” A memory of them danced into her head and she smiled. “He gave me my first kiss. I’d forgotten.”
Sarani’s eyes lit up with interest. “Did he?”
“Well, on the cheek. Completely innocent. I was all of six or so. One afternoon, I was chasing the boys, as I often did, to the fort they’d build between our estates, and I fell and turned my ankle horribly on a tree root. My brother Richard laughed. Stinson too. But Courtland ran back to where I was and carried me on his back all the way home. He wiped my tears and kissed my cheek, telling me to be brave and that even the best and bravest warriors got wounded sometimes.”
“Sounds like he was a sweet boy.”
Ravenna shook the bittersweet memory away. “Too bad he’s the exact opposite now.”
“That bad a husband?” A smile played over Sarani’s mouth.
“Worse.”
Sarani winked, her lip kicking up at the corner. “But is he adutifulhusband?”
Ravenna warmed. She should have guessed from the mischievous look on Sarani’s face that the question would be forthcoming. It was obvious from her emphasis ondutifulthat it had everything to do with marital congress, though said act had only been performed the one time.
“As far as duty goes, it’s a marriage of convenience. Most aristocratic marriages are.” She rolled her eyes, unable to contain the hot blush that would not quit spreading over her transparent skin. “Not everyone expects to have what you and Rhystan have, you know, a sickeningly happy love match with your maritaldutiestaking up all your sleeping hours.”
Sarani laughed, a bloom coloring her light-brown cheeks. “Waking hours, too, though not since Anu’s arrival.”
“I wouldn’t know.” Ravenna sniffed, loving that Sarani and her brother were so happy and envious of their obvious passion for each other.
“Jesting aside, it’s not all sunshine and games. Both your brother and I are pigheaded to a fault. We quarrel over the smallest things. At my worst, I am not the easiest person to love. Ravenna dearest, you know that.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Ravenna declared loyally. “You are the most lovable person I know, barring my new niece, of course.”
“Thank you, sister of my heart, but my point is it took time for Rhystan and me to trust one another. We fought hard for what we have and almost lost it all along the way. I’m saying that if one of us had chosen differently, we might not be here. We might not have had Anu.” She paused, her stare lifting from the baby to Ravenna. “Do you at least care for your duke?”
“I…have feelings for him, I suppose, but that’s because of forced proximity.”
“And when he touches you, how do you feel?”
She owed Sarani the truth. “Alive.”
Sarani’s eyebrows shot up at the despair Ravenna couldn’t quite hide from her voice. “That’s a start.”
“It doesn’t mean anything. He doesn’t want any of this.”
Sarani handed off the sleeping baby with milk beading on her perfect rosebud lips to one of the waiting nurses, and adjusted her clothing. Her hazel eyes gleamed in the sunlight as she turned her face up to it. “One thing I’ve learned is that most men rarely wear their hearts on their sleeves or say what they are truly feeling, but the right woman can read between the lines.”
“This man speaks his mind,” Ravenna said. “He offered me a divorce, Sarani.”
