Page 94 of The Beast of Beswick
“I’m unhurt, as you can see.”
“You were lucky. If anything had happened to you, I’d never forgive myself.”
Even in his anger, his face looked tortured, but Astrid wasn’t going to stop until he was honest with her. “Then, for once, talk to me, Thane. Stop hiding behind this temper of yours and tell me what you’re really feeling. You’re not alone anymore.Trustin me.”
“Here?” he asked.
She nodded. “It’s as good a place as any.”
He scrubbed his hair and stalked to the floor-to-ceiling windows. The leashed danger emanating from his body made the few occupants scurry out of the room. Astrid huffed a breath. He didn’t even realize he was doing it—using this ruthless, harsh facade as a front to terrorize people. The menace surrounding him was innate…like a suit of armor.
After a beat, Thane turned to face her and began to speak. “When I fought on the Continent, I fought for duty to king and country, and I’ve seen and done things that have taken a toll.” He swallowed hard, his gaze going inward for a moment. “My scars are the least of it. I’m fractured on the inside, Astrid, and you don’t need that. My own father ran from me. My brother, too. And then you came along and confounded every expectation I had. You made me feel again, and for that I’ll always be grateful that I met you.”
Astrid didn’t want his gratitude. She wanted hislove.
She knew more than anyone that the wounds on the inside were as bad as the ones on his face and body. Her scars didn’t hold a candle to his, to what he’d suffered, and she’d barely recovered from those. Thane was stronger and more resilient than he knew, and he was deserving of everything. She couldn’t save him, but he could savehimself. He had to love himself before anyone else could…before he could accept that othersdid.
“Why did you go to Lady Hammerton’s, Thane? Was it only for Isobel and Lord Roth?”
He exhaled. “I went to be with you. Iwantedto be with you, but when I saw Isobel with him, I realized I was being selfish. I wanted you to be free to choose who you want to love.”
“Ihavechosen. I chose you. I’m here, aren’t I?” She closed the distance between them and reached up to cup his face. “Even if you divorced me, you daft man, I would still choose you. I’d follow you to the ends of the earth. Or to the infamous Carlton House, as it were.”
“Why?”
Astrid rose on tiptoe to drag her lips across his ear. “Because I love you. I don’t want a sodding prince, you idiot. They’re too pretty, too full of themselves, too much maintenance.” She rocked back with a grin and waved a hand. “Who needs all this opulence? Give me a dark abbey and a grumpy beast any day.”
He froze, the vulnerability on his face nearly bringing her to her knees.
“The thing is, I’m not Isobel. I’mme. And I’m imperfect and combative and my mouth tends to run away with me, and I say things before I think about them. I’m bold and outspoken and probably don’t belong in polite society.”
“I don’t, either.”
“What a pair we make.” She smiled. “But we’re made for each other, Thane. Don’t you even—”
Breath deserted her as he crushed her to him, his mouth taking hers in a kiss that tore the words from her lips and left her mind spinning. She could hardly draw air into her lungs when he pulled back and positioned her a few inches away.
“What…what are you doing?” she gasped as he wrapped one large arm about her waist and threaded the other into her gloved fingers.
“What I should have done the minute I saw you at Lady Hammerton’s ball. I wish to dance with my wife.” He drew her against his lean, hard body and then went still, a ripple of worry chasing across his face. “Unless you don’t want to.”
Wild horses couldn’t drag her out of the haven of her husband’s arms in the middle of that room. “No, I do,” she said quickly, grasping hold of his sleeves. “But we’re not exactly in a ballroom, and we seem to have gathered an audience.”
They did indeed have an audience, including several nobles dressed to the nines, blatantly observing their interlude. Astrid blushed hard at the thought that Thane had kissed her so thoroughly in such a public venue. It wasn’tdone. Then again, this was Carlton House, and even she had heard of some of the dissipation that flooded its halls. She blinked, recognizing a few of the faces as some infamous aristocrats from Prinny’s notoriously fast set.
“Is that the Duke of Rutland?” she whispered. “And Viscount Petersham?”
“Ignore them,” Thane whispered, holding her close as he began to move them in a slow waltz, the faint strains of music from the gardens enough to guide their steps.
“They’re staring at us.”
Thane gathered her close, placing his large hand on her waist. “Why wouldn’t they? They’re looking at the most beautiful woman here.”
“Or perhaps because we’re dancing in the foyer of the Regent’s residence, and they think us daft.” But she was smiling as she said it, her heart overflowing.
“Who cares what anyone else thinks?”
She swayed unsteadily, her breath catching. “You usually do. Do you wish to leave? I know you hate this…being out in public.”
