Page 72 of The Beast of Beswick
“Astrid, I want to apologize for what I said the other night…about children. That wasn’t fair.” He hesitated, seeing the instant tightening of her lips. “I… You took me by surprise.”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
He searched for the right words to make her understand. “What happened with you and me and then talk of children. It was too much, too fast.” He fumbled with his words, his heart clenching and unclenching in painful lurches. “You’re passionate and courageous and beautiful and everything any man could want. The thing is, I’m not worthy of you, and one day, you’ll come to your senses, and you’ll want more. And I won’t be able to give it to you.”
“So you’re pushing me away, is that it?”
He shook his head, hands reaching for her and then falling away. “I’m protecting you, Astrid.”
“From what?”
“Fromme, damn it. Look at me! Who in their right mind would want to be saddled with this? I’m a beast on the inside, too. I lash out at people. Hurt them.”
Gutted, he blew out his breath, his heart pounding like a hurricane against his rib cage. His throat ached, his brain ached, his fucking useless heartached. Never had Thane wanted to hide so badly. He wanted to run back to Beswick Park and shut the world out. Shutherout. Forget how it felt to feel, how much it hurt to let anyone in. Because now he was paying the piper for not leaving well enough alone.
For not staying in the darkness where he belonged.
“I am looking,” she said gently. “I’m not blind, Thane. I see you very well. And you’d never hurt me.”
“Not intentionally,” he murmured. Those eyes of hers were slaying him…stripping him bare until he couldn’t hide. He wanted to lash out. “Don’t pity me, Astrid.”
“You think what I feel ispity?” Her voice rose, her eyes flashing blue fire as they narrowed on him. The look on her face could only be described as incredulous, and for the barest of seconds, Thane felt like he’d entered a minefield wearing a blindfold. “Do you think what happened in the garden was a joke? That it meant nothing to me? Do you think I gave myself to you on our wedding night because I was afraid of you or feltsorryfor you?”
He flinched, the sentiments hitting too close to home. He sealed his lips together from admitting those very truths, from baring his soul. “Then, why did you?”
She held his gaze. “It was because I wantedyou, you daft, oblivious man.”
“What about the future?”
“What of it?” She shrugged.
“What if—?”
His wife placed a finger on his lips, silencing him. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that what-ifs are dangerous, nasty little beasts.”
“But—”
“But nothing.” She pushed to her toes and kissed him softly, her voice dropping to a velvety whisper. “I’m here now. You’re here now. Thank you for your apology. I’myoursfor the taking, my lord duke. So what are you going to do about it?”
…
Everything froze, her husband’s arrested gaze meeting hers.
Astrid’s face was on fire. Never in her life had she been so bold, soshamelessin her demands. He wasn’t unaffected from her nearness, she saw. His hands shook, fisted at his sides as they were, as if it took everything in his power to keep from touching her. She didn’t have to look down to see the prominent ridge in his trousers.
“I want you,” she said simply. His eyes lit with desire, and she reached for boldness, knowing he liked it. She did, too. “If you wish me to be more explicit, Your Grace, I want coitus. Sexual congress.”
“Astrid,” he warned, those gorgeous golden eyes dilating with lust. A muscle flexed in his scarred jaw.
“Coupling. Tupping. Sex.Fucking,” she went on, face aflame and licking her lower lip with what she hoped was a sultry look.
He scooped her up so fast that her breath caught. “You have a dirty mouth, Lady Beswick.”
“Then give it something to do.”
She bit at the tendon on his shoulder, making him growl. The carnal, lust-filled sound made her body hum with arousal. Astrid yanked up her night rail and hitched her legs around his waist, her wrapper falling open, the heart of her abrading deliciously against his clothing and rock-hard abdominal muscles. Desire pulsed through her as he squeezed her rear and hoisted her higher. She gasped at the scrape of his waistcoat.
Groaning, he bit her lobe. “Your bed or mine?”
