Page 84 of Their Arrangement

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Just silence.

Just him.

Just me.

I kept your lipstick in my purse.

I reapplied it tonight.

Just in case.

Then:

Do you think about it?

About what I looked like when I knelt?

And kept going:

Because I do.

Still no answer.

My hands shook.

I took a photo.

Just of my lips.

Smeared red.

Parted.

A stain of salt on the corner of my mouth.

I didn’t send it.

I added a lineinstead:

I could let him fuck me.

My thumb hovered. Shaking.

I could lie.

Close my eyes and pretend it's you.

Still nothing.

I pressed the heel of my hand to my chest.

Everything hurt there.

Everything.

My last message came slower.

Deliberate.

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