Page 80 of Ruthless Commander
He stilled, searching my gaze, then slowly lowered my feet to the floor. “If we do this, we need to make a pact.”
I waited…
“No more secrets.” He lifted his hand, brushing aside a strand of hair from my cheek. “No more hiding the truth from each other, no matter how ugly that truth is. No more…”
“Protecting me.” I broke in. “And breaking my goddamn heart.”
Sadness roared to the surface as he nodded, lowering his head to kiss me. “Deal.”
But I pulled away. “One more thing.” I held his stare. “But you won’t like it.”
“Try me.”
“No more of this…” I glanced around the apartment.
“The apartment?”
“The island,” I demanded.
He just smiled. “I’ll do you one better. No more Commission.”
My breath caught as it hit home. No more lies, no more danger. It was what I’d always wanted, to get away from my family and their bloody business. “For both of us.”
“Deal?” he murmured.
My answer was a smiIe as I pulled him down until his lips met mine.Deal.I kissed him, for not nearly as long as I wanted, until I pulled away. “Okay, now how do we do this?” I lowered my gaze to the bloodstain on his side.
He grabbed my hand and guided me into his bathroom. “You first,” he murmured, searching my eyes. “Always.”
He tugged the bottom of my shirt, lifting it until he looked down. I raised my arms, letting him slowly undress me. The moment wasn’t about sex, but still that burn of desire moved between us as he lowered his head. His hands skimmed my body, gently finding the swollen, painful parts.
“Turn around, Xael.”
I did as he said, lowering my head and gripping the edge of the sink as I stood naked in front of him. His fingers were sure and careful, moving my hair aside as he probed the base of my skull, until agony was a sledgehammer blow that ripped through my skull.
A low snarl followed, but he didn't stop, just moved even more carefully until he'd searched every part of my skull, then moved back to the painful area. “Here? Is this where it hurts the most?”
I nodded, swaying as darkness bled into my mind.
He strode to the cupboard and pulled out a first aid kit, then unzipped it to grab a small flashlight. “Follow the light.” He shone it into my eyes as I tracked the movement. “No concussion and nothing is broken, looks like it’s a nasty contusion. Christ, you were lucky, it could’ve been worse…a lot worse. I have you.” He pulled me against him. “Can you manage the shower?”
I nodded, letting him bend and start the spray. Steam filled the space, the mist warm, white, reminding me of the black smoke from the boats…and then Rhys.
A moan tore free from that wounded part in my chest. Mateo jerked his gaze toward me and stepped closer. “What is it?”
I carefully shook my head. I couldn’t answer, because no words would ever ease the pain. Tears slipped down my cheeks. I couldn’t have stopped them even if I'd wanted to…and right then, I didn’t want to.
“Hey.” Mateo wrapped his arms around me. But he didn’t offer any words of comfort.
Somehow, he knew that wouldn’t help me at all. He just did the one thing I needed, the one thing no one else ever had for me…he just let me cry.Holding me against him, he eased me under the shower spray.
Warmth hit my back, washing away the bitter stench from my skin. If only I could wash the last few weeks away from my mind just as easily. But I couldn’t. Mateo stepped away, made sure I was steady, then dragged his shirt off and unbuckled his pants. I glanced at his gun on the vanity and realized in an instant who he was. He was a killer…a dangerous, merciless killer. The memory of him rose in my mind, his arm wrapped around Damien’s throat as he ripped the knife from his side.Then thwack. Thwack. Thwack.
He’d stabbed him without flinching, without wrestling with the darkness inside him, almost like he knew the darkness…almost like he…
“Xael?”
I flinched and jerked my gaze to his.
