Page 30 of Ruthless Commander
He looked away, the muscles flaring in his jaw. “Yes,that.”
How fucking dare he look away…like he didn’t enjoy this body…maybe that was it? Maybe I hadn’t fucked him right…maybe I wasn’tenough.I arched my spine, jutted my hips forward and fisted my dress at my hips, dragging the hemline higher until it barely skimmed my thighs. “Twelve months ago, you would’ve liked me in it. Liked me out of it, as well.”
With a blinding surge, he closed the distance, slamming his hand against the button, stopping the elevator mid-floor. Those infernal dark eyes bored into mine as he lifted his hand, bracing it against the wall beside my head. “You fucking push me, Xael.”
“Push you?” I asked carefully. Mateo Ristani might terrify everyone else on this island, but he didn’t scare me. “I seem to remember you were the one doing all the pushing, Mateo.”
He lowered his gaze, staring at my partially exposed breast, the sheer black fabric against my skin. I deepened my breaths, riveted by the agony in his eyes. He still wanted me…
I felt it, saw it…I tasted it…just like I’d once tasted him.
One swallow of Mateo and I was hooked. I'd drunk him down like a ravenous whore, craving him then…just like I craved him now.
“You don’t like me in this, then I’m sure I can find someone who will.”
He jerked his gaze to mine, and something savage moved in the darkness. His lips curled in a sneer, revealing his teeth. Excitement surged, making me breathless.
"What if I called Bernardi?” I taunted carefully. It was like dancing with death, teasing fate.
That’s what Mateo was to me…fate.
"Go ahead," he snarled, his tone cruel. But that flare of his jaw came once more. What did you know…the mighty Commander was jealous.
"I bet he'd come right over," I continued, my voice growing husky. “I bet he’d come all over me too.”
The sound of his breaths was like the savage wind outside.
His fingers curled into a fist.
Was he thinking about that?
“I bet he fucks real good, too.” A flicker of pain tore through me as I said the words. Sadness mingled with regret. “And in the morning, I bet he wouldn’t tell me it was a mistake.”
Mateo flinched as though I'd slapped him.
He pushed off the wall, taking a step backwards, and hit the button, sending the elevator rising once more. I wanted to hate him, wanted to see him squirm. But the agony that shone in his eyes right now…stole everything away. And in an instant, I couldn’t breathe.
I didn’t look away as we came shuddering to a stop, just stared at the man standing on the other side of the elevator, pushing his spine flat against the wall as though he was desperate to get away from me. But I couldn’t bear to see him walk away from me once more.
Even as agony howled inside me, clawing at my heart, I forced myself to move. It was me who left Mateo behind that time. Me who gave him my back…me who staggered through the entrance and stumbled into the blur of faces.
“Hey, Xael…” someone called.
But I didn’t care.I couldn’t care.I was bleeding on the inside, screaming inside my head. I needed a drink. I swung my gaze toward the kitchen counter that right now was an open bar and scanned the bottles, desperate for something that was going to get me drunkfast.
I poured, splashing vodka into the glass, and lifted it to my lips.
“Hey, the Commander’s here!”
I slammed my eyes closed and swallowed. Cold burned like fire, sliding down my throat. I tried to tune out the words…his name, to be exact. But I couldn’t. I was fucking sick, so fucking sick. Because there was no other way to explain why I glanced toward the entrance to meet Mateo’s gaze. He lowered his to the glass in my hand as I swallowed and echoes of the past rose. The pang of desire hit me as I lifted the glass to my mouth again. Someone from the party tried to talk to him. But the mighty Commander wasn’t listening. He wasn’t even giving them a second of his focus…because it was all on me. Was he remembering our past…to a time where he took another glass from my hand and filled his own hand with the heat of my pussy?
The memory rose inside me, cruel and deadly. One push of his hand and he'd widened my thighs, commanding and demanding. A beast of a man who took what he wanted. I licked my lips, jutting my breasts forward, daring him now just as I'd dared him then.Do something!
He did. He wrenched his gaze from mine, then turned and walked away, leaving the party behind. Gutless piece of shit! I drank again, taking in four more gulps before that cold ice warmed in my belly.
And after a while, I could finally breathe. I poured another, scowling at the way the bottle was emptying way too fast, then turned around, finally able to face the party. I couldn’t stop myself from looking for him, couldn’t help searching the crowd. Needing him…even with the pain.
Tears came at the corners of my eyes as someone waved at me.
