Page 85 of Devious Temptation
And I think that’s what hurts most of all.
It’s a glaring reminder of our vast age difference. Lawson has adult responsibilities that I can’t even imagine—his job, his kids, hiswife.How could I possibly begin to understand the depth of his choice to be with me?
“Lucy…” Lawson pushes off the wall, looking down the hall to ensure Rhys is still in his room.
My heartthumps, anguish ripping its way through my chest. I don’t want to feel like this. I don’t want him to see me this way.
“I’m fine.” I quickly wipe away the stray tears starting to fall and step back into the guest room. “Goodnight, Lawson.”
He steps forward, his cloudy gray eyes glowing with vulnerability as he begs, “Just give me some more time.”
Before he can enter the room, I close the door. “Take all the time you need.”
I hear him whisper, “I love you,” through the door, and my hand flies to my mouth in an attempt to hold back my sobs as I crawl into the empty bed and curl into a ball. I don’t know how such a perfect weekend got away from us—how we went from saying I love you for the first time to sleeping in separate beds. But how am I supposed to face them both tomorrow and pretend I didn’t spend the night crying?
As the night goes on, I toss and turn in the cold sheets, becoming more uncomfortable with every passing minute. Finally, as the clock on the nightstand turns to two in the morning, I pack my things and write a quick note to Lawson.
I’m not going to suffer through a morning with both of them—pretending to be friendly with Rhys and hiding the fact that I’m in love with his father. I’m not going to sit there while Lawson treats me like I’m nothing to him—like he didn’t just tell me twelve hours ago that he loved me for the first time and that we would figure this out.
I’m thankful for the quiet purr of the engine as I start the car and equally grateful Rhys didn’t park behind it, so Idon’t have to do a crazy million-point-turn to get out of the driveway. Lawson will probably be upset that I took his vehicle, but at the moment, I can’t bring myself to care.
I need space.
And Lawson needs time.
Twenty-Eight
Sunlight creeps through the window,rousing me from sleep. Reaching for Lucy, I frown when my hand hits the cold sheets of the empty spot beside me. Irritation dances through my organs, adding to the rotten lump that hasn’t left my stomach since I watched her leave with Rhys last night.
Guilt spears my chest, lancing clear through my heart to leave a hole only Lucy can fill. I’m at an utter loss of what I should do: march down the hall and tell my son straight to his face that I’m in love with his ex-girlfriend, or remain quiet and potentially lose Lucy.
It should be a no-brainer.
However, my parental side keeps kicking in, instinctually reminding me I have an obligation to my son.
Then, you should have never started things with Lucy in the first place.
I get out of bed, pulling on a basic black shirt before quietly making my way down the hall. Pressing my ear to theguest room door, I listen for Lucy’s breathing but only hear silence. I debate crawling into bed with her but decide against it, knowing she’s unlikely to welcome me with open arms.
It hurts—this ache in my chest I put there myself. It should clearly indicate where my heart lies, but no matter how many times I try to talk myself into coming clean, something holds me back every single time.
Lucy deserves better.
Fuck, so does Rhys.
And me? I deserve to rot in hell for what I’ve done to both of them.
Scrubbing my hands down my face, I head to the kitchen to make coffee. The throbbing behind my ribs plummets into my stomach as I round the corner to see a singular piece of paper on the kitchen island.
With shaky hands, I pick it up, and the regret that’s weighing me down becomes even heavier with each line I read.
Lawson,
I took your car and went home. You can get a ride back with Rhys. Please don’t be mad. I’m sorry.
Lucy
“Fuck,” I whisper. Swiftly, I return to my bedroom and grab my phone from the dresser.
