Page 138 of No Such Thing as Serendipity
Emma put her hand against her chest. “You have my utmost respect. You saw something none of us saw.”
“Aw, honey, I’m not all that special,” Annie said. “I just knew how to recognize grief. She’s helped me, too. I imagine we’ll keep in touch since we understand each other’s experience. And you all better keep in touch, too, or I will hunt you down.” Annie’s eyes filled with tears. “Who’s next?”
Emma jumped in, always one quick to the rescue. “The biggest thing I learned is I’m stronger than I think.”
I stared at her, surprised by her answer.
“I mean,” Emma continued. “Blake has always been stronger, but I took charge, and I did it. And I’m proud of myself.” She held her chin up and had a satisfied smile on her face.
“Wow,” I said. “Not to take away your thunder, but I’ve always known you were stronger than me.”
“What?” Emma looked at me as if I’d said the earth was flat.
I glanced around at the others and smiled. “It might surprise you, but I can be a bit of a bulldog.” They all laughed. “My strength comes out with force. It’s aggressive, but, Em, you’ve always had feminine strength. No bravado. No strongarming. No forcing. It’s a quiet strength that I’ve always admired. Of everyone in my life, I’ve always known it would be you that held me up when I couldn’t do it for myself.”
Tears streamed down Emma’s face. “I always believed you thought I was a ridiculous, spineless female who couldn’t match your strength.”
“Seriously?” Wanting to lighten the mood, I said, “You scare me. Always have.”
Emma laughed and wrapped her arms around me. She kissed me on the cheek and then playfully planted loud kisses all over my face and head. I knew she was trying to bring levity to the moment, so I played along.
“Eek.” I pretended to recoil and turned my head away. “Remind me never to compliment you again if this is the treatment I get.”
“You love it.” Emma kissed me on the forehead one last time before she released me.
“Bully.” I scrunched up my face. “I might as well go next since it ties to Emma’s. I’ve learned sometimes the strongest thing you can do is to be weak.”
“Whoa, that sounds like double speak,” Helena said.
I bit my lip, trying to come up with a better explanation.
“I think it might be in your choice of word—weak,” Robyn said.
The light bulb went on. “Oh, yeah. When I talk about Emma’s softness, I don’t see it as being weak, but I guess I’m not quite there with myself.”
“Maybe use vulnerable. Open. Soft,” Annie said.
I pretended to shudder. “You guys are killing me.” The others laughed. “You’re right, though. I’m learning that it takes real courage—strength—to be vulnerable and let people past the shield.” I squirmed, ready to move on.
Robyn winked at me. “We love that side of you and are glad you’re sharing it with us.”
My heart rate quickened. While I knew Robyn didn’t say she loved me, it was close. I was just glad my face was already red from the sun.
“I’ll piggyback on that,” Robyn said. “I’ve learned that just because I’m the facilitator doesn’t mean I have to be so detached. Perhaps I’ve hidden behind the label. I’m not a therapist, nor am I a teacher who’s responsible for grades. Those roles would put me in a position of unequal power. Facilitating doesn’t, so I can be more open.” Robyn laughed and looked at me. “Although I won’t go to this extreme again.”
“You better not,” I said without thinking. My face heated.
The others laughed, so I joined them, happy that Robyn didn’t seem to notice my reaction.
“I guess we’re the only two left,” Katlynn said, taking Helena’s hand. “I’m struggling to put into words what’s come from this experience. But I’d say the biggest is that people can like me,” she glanced at Helena, “love me for who I am.” She swept her hand in front of her body. “I figured out why I dress this way. Why I go for the Bohemian free-spirited vibe. I’m afraid.”
We all stared at Katlynn, and nobody spoke.
“Can you explain more?” Robyn asked. “We’d like to understand.”
“Growing up, I was expected to conform. I wasn’t strong enough to resist—at least not with my words. Dressed like this, I make a statement without having to speak. People make assumptions about who I am. In other words, I don’t have to defend my beliefs. People just assume them.” She glanced at Emma. “I want to be strong enough I can voice my opinions without this costume. Whether I’m wearing a business suit or a jogging outfit. I want to speak my truth, not just wear it.”
“That’s very astute,” Robyn said. The rest of us voiced our agreement. “What will you do with this knowledge?”
