Page 107 of No Such Thing as Serendipity
I’d fallen back against the couch, and my butt slid into the well-worn indent. My feet weren’t touching the floor. I was trapped. Panic rose as I kicked out my feet, trying to lean forward like Robyn asked.
“Whoa, take it easy.” Annie put a firm hand on my shoulder. “Stop kicking or you’re gonna take Robyn out.”
Horrified, I looked at Robyn, who’d fallen off to the side. Had I kicked her? I reached out my hand, and she took it. With Annie’s help, they guided me to the edge of the couch. I put my head between my knees.
As I was leaning forward, I saw Helena with her arms wrapped around Emma. Was she okay?
“Emma!” I didn’t recognize my voice. It came out more of a scream.
“She’s here,” Robyn said.
Emma took a tentative step toward me with Helena by her side.
Katlynn returned with a bottle of water and thrust it toward me.
I flinched and jumped backward.
Annie snagged the bottle and gently, yet with a firm hand, pushed me back toward the front of the couch. “Blake, bend over and breathe. That’s your only job right now.”
“But Emma,” I said as Annie increased the pressure on my back.
“I’m right here.” Emma put her hand on my shoulder. “Do what Annie and Robyn are telling you. Breathe.”
I let myself fall forward. I breathed in and out. It felt like a million hands were on my back and shoulders, comforting me. Someone ran their hand through my hair, and I began to relax. The pain in my chest still made it difficult to breathe, but I was trying.
I didn’t know how long I sat with my head down, focusing on my breath. My hands hung below my knees, and water droplets pelted them. No, not water. I realized they were my tears.
Fuck.I was losing it in front of everyone. Embarrassment coursed through me. I needed to get out of here. I tried to stand, but my shaky legs made it difficult. It was the same feeling I had in my legs the day I took my longest walk. The walk to Auntie Bess’s casket.
“Hey, what’s going on?” Was it Robyn who said it? It must have been because she was in front of me again. She placed her hand against my neck, and her thumb brushed my cheek.
“I need to go,” I croaked.
“Where?” Her compassionate eyes met mine.
I shook my head, and my tears fell harder.
Annie kneeled beside me. “Do you want us to leave?”
“No!” I grabbed Annie’s arm.
“Okay, okay.” Annie patted my knee. “We’ll stay.”
“I don’t understand. First, she tries to escape, then freaks out when Annie offers to leave.” Emma’s voice held almost as much panic as I felt.
Robyn stood and put her arm around Emma’s shoulders. “When people are panicking, emotionally distraught, they don’t always think rationally. It’s normal.”
I felt anything but normal.
As I concentrated on my breathing, the others talked around me. I made out snippets of conversations, but I couldn’t focus long.
After I got my breathing under control and blew my nose more times than I could count, Robyn encouraged me to sit up. As I lifted my chest off my knees, my eyes widened when my gaze landed on Dana.
She gave me a sheepish smile and wiggled her fingers at me in a wave. Where had she come from? Upon realizing she and Robyn were in the same room, my panic rose. My gaze shifted between the two.
“Hey, I can leave.” Dana backed up. “I heard something happened, and I came to check on you.”
“It’s not you.” Robyn moved toward Dana and put her hand on Dana’s arm. “She’s struggling.”
