Page 77 of No Such Thing as Serendipity
“It’s okay to tell me if you didn’t.”
“It’s not that simple.” I frowned. “Did I enjoy it? No. Would Emma tell you I needed to hear it? Yes.”
“I’m not interested in whether Emma thought you needed to hear it.” Her intense gaze bore into me. “I want to know what you think.”
I scowled. “Oh, man, you’re making it hard.”
“It’s my job.”
My scowl deepened. “I thought you were off duty tonight.”
“I am. It’s my job as your friend.”
I hoped Robyn didn’t notice my eyes widening. I supposed we were becoming friends. I didn’t make friends easily since I worried they had an ulterior motive, but here we were just people getting to know each other.
“Fair enough,” I finally responded. “Yeah, I needed to hear it, too. You know that’s why I’m here. I mean, it’s why Emma is calling all the shots. She believes I need to stop trying to control everything.”
“There you go telling me what Emma thinks.” Robyn put her hand on top of mine. “I want to know what you think.”
My chest tightened, and it felt warm in the restaurant. I wasn’t used to someone pressing me to talk about my feelings.
I shrugged. “Things haven’t worked out for me. I’m forty-two, with my career turned upside down and no relationship. It wasn’t where I thought I’d be at this age.”
“That could describe many of us.”
“That’s the funny thing.” I glanced at Emma. “She has it together, but I was always the one everyone thought would be the success. While Emma was timid and mild, I was a tiger. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a pauper, but money has never been how I gauge my success.”
“How do you measure it?”
Robyn’s eyes held so much compassion; I had to look down at my silverware before I spoke. “I’m not sure anymore.” It wasn’t true, but I hoped Robyn would let me get away with it.
By her expression, she wasn’t going to. “It’s all right to tell me you don’t want to answer. I’d rather you do that than, um—”
“Lie?” The word fell out of my mouth before I could stop it. What was it about Robyn and this place that made me express thoughts I wouldn’t anywhere else?
Robyn pursed her lips and nodded. “While technically it’s a lie, I’m okay in calling it avoidance.”
“Thanks.” I looked into her eyes and smiled. “It’s just I thought I’d have a prestigious career and long-term relationship. But here I am.” I motioned toward the room. “Not knowing what the hell comes next.”
“At the intersection of confusion comes some of our greatest moments.”
“Did you just make that up?”
Robyn smirked. “I think I might have. I believe the saying is lies our greatest freedom or something like that.”
“Hey, Robyn,” Annie said from across the table. “We need you to settle an argument.”
Robyn gave my hand a squeeze before she let it go. She smiled at Annie. “I’ll do my best.”
“Did you ever readThe Second Sex?” Annie asked.
“Simone de Beauvoir,” Robyn said.
“How aboutSexual Politics?”Katlynn, who was sitting next to Annie, said.
“Kate Millett,” Robyn responded.
“We’ll take that as a yes,” Annie said. “So which do you think is better?”
