Page 157 of No Such Thing as Serendipity
“Damn it, Blake. Explain it to me so I can understand.”
Her angry response caused me to stand up straighter. “Okay. Okay.” I pointed at the tailgate. “Can I change my mind?”
She patted the spot next to her but didn’t speak.
I jumped onto the tailgate beside her and slid over so our shoulders touched. “Can I put my arm around you?” She hesitated, so I said, “Never mind. I’m not being fair.”
“Please, I’d like that.”
The tightness in my chest lessened slightly as I threaded my arm around her waist. The faint scent of her shampoo filled my nose as I held her against me.
“When I flew to New York, I had the notebook from your shop with me. Most of the flight, I poured my heart and soul onto the pages. It was cathartic. By the time I landed, I was pretty sure I wanted to buy Blissful Breeze. I was going to call you and share the news.”
“Then why didn’t you?”
“I needed to do something else first. I went to visit Terrence and his wife, Sylvia.”
“Oh, Blake.” Robyn turned to me. Tenderness returned to her eyes. “Are you okay?”
“I am.” I gave her a slight smile. “I forgave him.”
She smiled and touched my cheek. “I’m glad.”
“We reminisced for two hours. I told them all about you and Blissful Breeze and my plans. I’d intended to call you before I went to my meeting with Ironclad.”
“What did they say that stopped you?”
“It wasn’t anything they said—exactly. I mean, they didn’t discourage me or anything. It hit me while they were telling me a story they’d shared many times, but this time, I’d picked up something different.”
I closed my eyes, remembering. “Forty years ago, Terrence asked Sylvia if he could use the money they’d been saving for a down payment on a house to start his business. She’d said yes.”
“Okay?” Robyn’s tone held a note of confusion.
“This time, as they finished the story, Sylvia got a far-off look in her eyes. She said,I wonder if things would have turned out differently if I’d said no.Her words reverberated inside my head.”
“I’m afraid I’m not understanding how this pertains to us.”
I turned my body so I could look into Robyn’s eyes. “Sylvia didn’t feel like she had any choice. Terrence had inadvertently backed her into a corner. I didn’t want to do it to you—or me, for that matter. I didn’t want to trap you.”
“How would you have trapped me?”
“I’m certain how I feel about you, but we’ve only known each other for a month. If I allowed you to participate in my decision, you’d feel obligated since I uprooted my whole life to be here. In twenty years, I didn’t want you to be like Sylvia, wonderingif things would’ve turned out differently if you’d said no.”
Robyn pursed her lips, and a thoughtful expression settled on her face. “I think I understand, but still, you asked me to move to New York.”
“I was hurt when you turned me down, but you were right. You would have been miserable, and I should’ve known and never asked you. Just like Terrence shouldn’t have asked Sylvia to use their money. It changed the entire course of their family’s life, and Sylvia blamed herself.”
“Wow, you have learned this emotional stuff.”
“What can I say? I’m a fast learner.” I grinned. “On the plane, I was still hurt and angry that you didn’t want to join me in New York, but somewhere in my frantic scribbles, I realized you weren’t rejecting me. You never said you didn’t want to be with me. You said you wouldn’t return to a fast-paced environment that might destroy you.”
“When I woke up, and you were gone, it was the worst pain.” Robyn swallowed hard. “I spent the entire day agonizing over whether I should have said yes but knowing I couldn’t.”
I rubbed my chest. “Trust me, I felt the same pain. I want to give us a chance. A real chance.”
“I do, too.” Robyn’s body relaxed against mine. “There’s still something you’re not saying. Earlier, you’d said you didn’t want to do it to me or yourself.”
“On the plane, I convinced myself it would be serendipity if you said yes.” I chuckled. “After visiting Terrence and Sylvia, I realized I was using it as a crutch. Not being a control freak doesn’t mean not making choices.”
