Page 143 of No Such Thing as Serendipity
“That’s not fair.”
For the first time, I glimpsed a crack in her armor, but it disappeared as soon as it came.
“Then what is fair, huh? Tell me, Robyn. Was I just a convenient fuck buddy? Have you been playing me all along?” I knew she hadn’t, but her lack of emotion was fueling my panic. I kneeled and ran my hand over Millie’s fur. “Hey, Millie, am I one of a long string of women your mama drags home?” It was a low blow, but I wanted a reaction, some emotion from Robyn.
“That was uncalled for.” Still no anger. Just her robotic delivery.
I stood. “My bad.” My voice dripped with sarcasm.
“What did you expect from me?” Robyn’s voice maintained its calm edge, while I wanted her to yell, so at least I’d know she cared. “Did you think I’d give up my entire life here and follow you to New York?”
“I thought you’d at least consider it.” My jaw hardened. “But you dismissed it out of hand. You dismissed me.” Tears welled in my eyes. “Fuck this. Where are my keys?” I glanced around the room. In my upset state, I couldn’t remember where I’d put them.
“So you’re leaving?”
“Why shouldn’t I?”
“It’s only nine thirty. We still have half an hour.”
Her words wiped away any resolve I had left. “What. Is. Wrong. With. You?”
“I think your keys are in the kitchen.” She pivoted and left the room.
I gaped at her.
She returned with my keys, but she didn’t give them to me. Instead, she set them on the end table.
“Now I understand the old expression that the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference.”Shit.I’d just implied I loved her. “Screw it.” I snatched my keys off the table.
“Is that what you think? That I’m indifferent?”
Tears streamed down my face, making me angrier. Once again, I was falling apart while Robyn was under control.
“Never mind. I need…” My words caught in my throat when I looked into her eyes. They no longer held indifference. All I saw was an intense pain. I took a step toward her. “Robyn—”
She backed away. “No, don’t.”
I stopped. “Talk to me. What’s going on?”
She shook her head and stepped back farther, putting as much distance between us as she could without leaving the room. “I think you should go.”
“I don’t.”
“What do you want from me?” Her voice held a note of anguish.
“I don’t know. But I don’t want this to end.”
“Don’t you understand? There’s no other choice.”
“But I gave you another option. If the bookstore isn’t enough, there are retreats in the city. You could run groups.”
“Did you hear anything I said on the boat?” Her voice trembled.
“You mean about your past?”
“I can never put myself in an environment like that again. I can’t risk it.”
My shoulders relaxed. This was an easy problem to solve. “You can do whatever you want. You don’t have to work. I just thought you’d want your own bookstore.”
