She put her hand on my arm. “Oh, god, I am so sorry. You didn’t know, did you?”
I shook my head, not trusting my voice.
“I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news.” Her expression was sincere.
Wasn’t she aware of how things had ended with Terrence? Was I supposed to feel bad for him? Not that I’d wish cancer on anyone. Still, he wasn’t my concern any longer.
“I know things, uh, didn’t end on the best note,” she said. “But I figured someone would have contacted you. I mean, with your history.”
Not wanting to appear callous, I said, “I’ve been here for several weeks.”
She nodded, seemingly pleased with the answer. “Ah, that explains it. It’s just such a shame with him finally having time for himself—his family. It’s so tragic.”
Wait.Why was she acting so doom and gloom? Surely, Terrence would get top-notch treatment. “What kind of cancer did you say it was?” She hadn’t, but I didn’t want her to become uncomfortable for divulging too much.
“Pancreatic.”
My heart sank. I’d learned a lot about cancer when Auntie Bess was fighting her battle, so I knew pancreatic was one of the deadliest. “What stage?”
Her eyes grew sad. “Four. They’re giving him six to eight months.”
The room spun.
“Oh, no. Frank,” she called over her shoulder. “Grab Blake a bottle of water. Why don’t you sit down for a minute?”
I wanted to escape, but I doubted my legs would carry me, so I let her guide me to a seat.
Twenty minutes later, I left the conference room. I’d been embarrassed, but the group from Ironclad had been nothing but gracious and supportive.
Maybe I’d grown. If I’d had this reaction in front of someone before, I would have distanced myself from them. Likely, it would have lost them any chance of convincing me to sign with their firm. As if they were to blame. But with my newfound awareness, the Ironclad team gained in their pursuit of signing me.
When I returned to Lift Our Voices, I was still shaken. Robyn was working with a customer when I walked in. She’d raised her hand to wave at me, but her face fell as soon as she saw mine. She held up one finger and went back to talking to her customer, but she kept one eye on me while they talked.
I smiled and motioned toward the coffee bar. I could use a stiff drink. Double espresso. I smiled at my joke. Once I’d gotten my coffee, I went to the farthest table. It looked out on the sidewalk, so I focused on the foot traffic, trying to keep my mind off Terrence.
I was so absorbed counting the number of piercings on a pair of teenagers with blue hair that I didn’t realize Robyn had slipped into the adjacent seat until she said, “It didn’t go well, huh?”
“Shit.” I jumped and almost knocked over my coffee.
“Sorry.” Robyn put her hand on mine.
I shook my head and focused on her. “No, everything went great with the meetings. They’re supposed to send me their offers by Monday.”
Robyn narrowed her eyes. In this short time, I’d come to cherish her intense expression when she was thinking. “What’s going on then?”
Tears welled in my eyes.
“Are you having second thoughts about taking one of the jobs?”
For a moment, I thought I’d sensed hope in her question, but I must have imagined it in my emotionally heightened state. “No, that’s not it. It’s Terrence.”
“Terrence? Your old boss?” Anger flashed in her eyes. “Is he trying to sabotage your chances?”
I vehemently shook my head. “No, nothing like that. He has cancer. Stage IV pancreatic.”
“Oh.” Robyn squeezed my hand. “I’m so sorry. I know he meant a lot to you, despite everything that happened.”
I’d shared with Robyn how betrayed I’d felt by Terrence, but she’d picked up my affection for him, as well. “I said mean and ugly things, but I never wished for this to happen.”