Page 95 of Through the Storms
Riley rose to her feet and held out her hand. Chloe took it, and warmth radiated through her body. Riley easily hoisted her to her feet.
When Chloe looked down, she realized she still held Riley’s hand. As if it were a snake, she let go and took two steps back. “I want to thank you both for talking to me. I feel much better.”
“My pleasure,” Oakley said. She started toward the hotel but turned and called over her shoulder. “I’ll save a seat for the two of you.”
“I think I’ll pass tonight,” Chloe said. “A good night’s sleep would do me good.”
Chloe watched as Oakley trotted across the parking lot. Now that she was alone with Riley, she was afraid to look in her direction.
“Uh…uh…do you think we could talk?” Riley asked.
Chloe wanted to say no and chase after Oakley, but that wouldn’t be fair. Riley had been so patient and kind to her when all Chloe deserved was Riley’s anger. “I’m not sure I have anything left in the tank.”
Riley’s gaze dropped to the pavement. “I understand. You know where I am if you change your mind.” Riley started to walk toward the hotel entrance.
An internal battle raged. Seeing Riley looking so defeated tore Chloe apart. “Wait,” Chloe said and ran after Riley.
Riley stopped and met Chloe’s gaze. The pain in Riley’s eyes was like a gut punch. “I don’t know what I did wrong to chase you away, but I’m sorry.”
“No, Riley.” Chloe forgot herself and grabbed Riley’s arm. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It truly is me. You saw earlierhow messed up I let myself get because of my marriage. I’ve internalized so much crap. I’m trying to climb out, but I’m far from being where I need to get.”
“It’s because I’m a woman, isn’t it?” Riley blurted out.
“No.” Chloe adamantly shook her head. “I can tell you with one hundred percent honesty that you being a woman isn’t a problem for me. In fact, I’m shocked at how right it felt with you.”
Riley visibly flinched. “Sure. So right that you ran off.” Riley’s voice held no anger, just defeat.
Dumbass.Chloe hadn’t thought how her words would make Riley feel. “See, anything I say is just going to hurt you.”
Tears welled in Riley’s eyes, and she brushed at them with frustration. “Make me understand. Your note was so full of contradictions. I’m incredible. The evening was incredible. You never felt anything like it.”
“That’s all true.” Chloe wanted to wrap her arms around Riley and take away the hurt in her eyes, but she couldn’t.
Riley put her fists against the side of her head and closed her eyes. “Then why did you push me away?” Riley opened her eyes. “Please, just stay with me tonight. Maybe I’m not good with words, but I can show you how I feel.”
The pleading tone in Riley’s voice and the pain in her eyes nearly brought Chloe to her knees. She couldn’t do this. “No.” Chloe tried to put more conviction into her voice than she felt. “I can’t. My marriage nearly broke me. Raising a teenager is testing me, and most times, I’m failing that test. Don’t you see, I’m damaged. I have nothing to offer you.”
“That’s bullshit.” Riley’s face reddened. “That’s what Dennis told you, but it’s not true.”
Chloe shook her head. “It’s not just him. I’m empty inside. I’m a void.”
Riley put her hands on her hips. “That’s not true, either. The woman I slept with last night had plenty inside.”
“It was sex, Riley.”
Riley looked as if Chloe had slapped her. “I get it. It was just physical for you. I was the only one that felt any emotions.”
“No.” Chloe’s shoulders slumped. “That’s not what I meant.”
Riley’s eyes softened. “What did you mean then?”
“That’s the problem. I don’t know. I don’t know what I mean. I don’t know what I feel. I’m so fucking turned inside out.” Chloe’s honesty spewed out. “When I came on this trip, I hadn’t felt anything for a long time. Now I feel too damned much. I don’t want to. I can’t. I’m no good for anything or anyone. I need to figure myself out. Overcome my past before I let anyone else into my fucked-up life. I can’t do that to you. I—”
“Whoa.” Riley took a step forward and put her hand on Chloe’s shoulder. “Slow down and take a breath.”
Tears streamed down Chloe’s face. She pointed at herself. “See. Hot mess.”
“Can I say something?”
