Page 37 of Through the Storms
“Nice try.” Carol drew the box toward her, opened it an inch, and peeked inside. “What kind did you get?”
Lana snorted. As if Carol had to ask. “Glazed. Chocolate. Sprinkles.”
Carol’s head snapped up. “No maple?”
“Gotcha.” Lana laughed. “Why do you even ask? I know you’d throw me and the doughnuts out if I didn’t come bearing maple.”
“True.” Carol flipped open the box. She inspected each doughnut before she pulled one out.
“Find the perfect one?”
“Close. I found the best of the litter.”
“Please. How many times do I have to tell you, do not personify the doughnuts?”
Carol held up the doughnut and bobbed it around. “Hi, Lana,” she said in a high-pitched voice as she tried to keep her lips from moving. “I’m Doughy, the maple doughnut.”
“Stop.” Lana laughed.
“Just making a point. Since people don’t have litters, I wasn’t personifying it.”
“Okay, okay. You win. Just eat your damned doughnut.”
Carol picked up the doughnut, put it back in the box, and pulled out a different one. “I can’t bring myself to eat Doughy. You’ll have to.”
“Ugh.” Lana dropped into the chair across from Carol’s desk. “I’m surrounded by insanity. Oakley at home and you here.”
“You wouldn’t know what to do without—“ Carol abruptly stopped. “You aren’t without… um…one of us, are you?”
Lana sighed. “Not yet.”
Carol studied Lana before she responded. “Not yet? That doesn’t sound good.”
Lana debated telling Carol about the job interview but decided against it. Carol wouldn’t be happy, and Lana wasn’t ready to deal with her, too. “She called yesterday after you left. We had another fight.”
“And?”
Lana shrugged. “We kinda made up and agreed we’d talk once she gets home, but I don’t know.”
“Don’t know what?” Carol bit into her doughnut.
Lana looked at the box, but the thought of eating made her stomach turn. “I don’t know anything. At least, I don’t feel like I do. We fight, but it never gets resolved. It’ll be a week before we see each other face to face, and by then, Oakley will act like nothing ever happened, while I carry all the hurt and resentment with me.”
“Maybe you should stop letting her off the hook and demand she sit down and talk about it.”
“Easy for you to say when Frank comes home to you every night.” Ire rose inside of Lana, even though she knew Carol was right. “It’s hard to resolve anything when she’s on the road all the time. Then when she comes home, I don’t want to ruin the short time we have together.”
“So instead, you’ll let it ruin your whole future?”
“Why are you being so mean?” Lana scowled. She was already raw and didn’t need this from Carol.
“Oh, honey, I’m not being mean. I’m concerned. I know you, and I’ve never seen you so defeated. Worn down.” Carol held her thumb and finger close together. “You’re about this close to giving up. Does Oakley realize that?”
Lana dropped her head into her hands. “No, I don’t think so.”
“Don’t you think you owe it to her to tell her?”
Lana shrugged. “What good will it do? I tell her I don’t feel like a priority. I cry. And every time, she says she’ll do better and prove she’s worthy of me, but nothing ever changes.” Lanaslammed her fist on Carol’s desk. “Ugh. What the fuck is wrong with me? Actions speak louder than words, and her actions say she doesn’t give a flying fuck about me.”
