Page 131 of Through the Storms
“Damn, you’re cute when you’re disheveled.” Lana hoped her levity would ease some of the heaviness in the room.
Oakley gave Lana a half smile, but the mischievous glint was missing from her eyes. “I’m not so sure I’d make fun of me. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear you’d spent the night having passionate sex.”
Lana fluffed her hair. “You don’t think I should go on the air this way?”
Oakley grinned. “Maybe. It might give a jolt to your ratings.” The look on her face grew serious. “I know you’re trying to make me feel better, but I don’t want you to this time. I can’t fall back into the trap of thinking everything is going to be all right. It gets me into trouble.”
“Fair enough.” Lana nodded. “You’re right. Things have to be different this time.” She ran her hand down the side of Oakley’s head and let her palm rest against Oakley’s cheek. “But there’s one thing you need to know. No matter how frustrated I’ve been, I haveneverstopped loving you. That’s why I know we’ll figure this out.”
Tears rolled down Oakley’s cheek. “You’re my world, Lana. I know I don’t show it as much as I should and I come off too nonchalant, but I’d be lost without you.”
“I know. And my world wouldn’t be as colorful without you. Face it, we need each other.”
“I’m okay with that. Are you?”
Lana didn’t answer right away. She wanted to give the question the thought it deserved. Then she nodded. “Yeah, I am. I truly am.”
“What do I need to change?” There was fear in Oakley’s eyes.
“That’s easy. Stop thinking you have tobe someoneor do something bigger to be worthy of me. It puts a wedge between us.” Lana smiled. “I finally understand why you’ve done it all these years, but I need you to accept that you’re enough—you always have been.”
Oakley moved closer to Lana and lay her head against Lana’s shoulder. “I’m gonna need you to remind me of it. Old habits die hard.”
“I can do that.” Lana hugged Oakley to her. “Now that I understand that your drive wasn’t an excuse to push me away.”
“Never,” Oakley practically shouted. She pulled back and met Lana’s gaze. “It was my insecurity. My fear that I didn’t measure up, but I’m gonna work on it. Is there anything else?”
“I want to spend more time together,” Lana blurted out. It wasn’t what she had planned on saying, at least not like it came out, but at least it was on the table.
“I’d like that.”
“Really?”
“I’m so sorry, babe.” Oakley’s eyes filled with sadness. “I can’t believe I made you feel like I didn’t want to spend time with you.”
Lana looked down at the sheet and picked at a loose thread. “It just didn’t seem to be a priority.”
“It was. It is. My best times are always with you.”
“But you have so much fun on the chases…with Asher and Britt.”
“I love them, and yeah, we have fun. But it’s so much better when you’re there. After you came to Wichita, Britt teased me mercilessly about how much I lit up once you got there.”
“Are you just telling me that?”
“No.” Oakley pinched her lips together. “I think this is your insecurity.”
Lana slowly nodded before she spoke. “You’ve got a point. I guess I always feel like the buzzkill. The one that has to be the adult and ruin everyone’s fun.”
Oakley took Lana’s hand. “First off, I put you in that position and—”
“No, it’s not all on you.” Lana poked her finger into her own chest. “I brought that to the relationship from the beginning.”
“That’s because you practically raised your siblings. It’s ingrained.”
Lana shook her head. “But even though I was responsible for them much of the time, they’ll all tell you I was fun, too. But somewhere along the way, I lost that.”
“And that’s my second point.” Oakley grinned. “You worry about being the fourth wheel, but it’s not true. The night after I took the Oaka…car out…you had the entire group in stitches.”
