Page 45 of Leather and Longing
He chuckled. “Thanks for that. I needed a laugh after the day I’ve had. ’Night, Taylor.” He disconnected, pocketed his phone and climbed the steep path to the kitchen door. After assuring the house was locked up, he poured out a glass of water and climbed the stairs as silently as he could. His head ached and a weariness had settled over him, making him long for his bed. His teeth brushed, Paul crept across the landing past Adam’s closed door into his own room. He undressed in the dark and slipped between cool sheets, the soft pillows and firm mattress welcoming him, supporting him.
Sleep remained out of his grasp a while longer, tormenting him with recollections of the previous few days. The more he thought about it, the more he convinced himself what he’d planned was the right thing to do, because he wasn’t doing it for himself. He was doing it for Adam. By the time his brain had eased into neutral, Paul was exhausted. His last conscious decision was that Adam was going to listen to him, whether he wanted to or not. And if he didn’t want to cooperate, Paul had one last card to play.
Paul was taking no prisoners.
“Good morning.”
Adam surfaced through hazy, sleep-warm layers to smell coffee. “Wha… what time is it?” Paul hadn’t brought him a morning mug of coffee for a few days, not since…What day is it?All Adam’s days seemed to blur into one mass of rage, resentment and regret. Some functioning part of him said it was Wednesday.
“It’s nine. I didn’t want to let you sleep too late this morning. We have plans.”
There was something new about Paul. The touch of steel in his voice, perhaps? Whatever it was, it made Adam’s hackles rise. “Oh,wedo?”
“Yes. It’s time you got out of this house and got some fresh air into your lungs. You haven’t been out since you went to Ryde for a haircut, and I’ll bet that was the first time in ages that you’d set foot out of the front door. So we’re going out for the day.”
Someonewas being awfully brave this early in the day. “What makes you think I’ll cooperate with your plans?” Adam barked out a laugh.
The silence that followed his words had the hairs on his arms standing on end.
Paul drew in a long breath. “You know what? You’ve treated me like shit the last few days, and I’ve just about had it. I organized this on Monday. I thought it would make you feel good, because you’ve obviously been going through a really bad patch.” He snorted. “But after yesterday? Believe me, last night I came this close to calling the whole thing off. I’m still in twominds now. So it comes down to this: either you do this, or I walk. And before you open your mouth to put your foot in it yet again, consider this. If I walk, no book, no one to help you regain any form of independence, and best of all…” Paul paused. “More Caroline.” Another deep breath. “I’ll let you think on it. You can let me know what you decide when you come downstairs for breakfast.” Paul left before Adam could say a word.
Adam lay there, his heartbeat racing, a fluttering in his belly, his breathing rapid.
I did it.Paul wanted to leave. Part of him wanted to yell, “Well, fuck you!” Who thefuckdid Paul think he was, to speak like that? He could go ahead and take a running jump, for all Adam cared. He hadn’t wanted a companion in the first place.
I don’t need him. Haven’t I always said that?
It wasn’t until a couple of minutes later that he realised he felt like shit.
Adam sat up in bed and took his mug in hand. That first shot of caffeine gave him a much-needed jolt. He propped his pillows behind him and leaned against the headboard. Adam put aside his emotions and considered the situation logically.
What am I about to throw away here?
It was easy to list all the reasons why Paul should go, but as for why Adam should put up a fight to keep him? That took more serious analysis, and the first conclusion he came to made Adam’s heart sink.
I’ve been an arsehole.
There was no way around that. He thought back on all Paul had done since his arrival—and how Adam had treated him. Adam prided himself on his ability to handle people, yet in Paul’s case, yeah, he’d fucked up. Granted, Adam would feel better if Paul did leave, but that left the not-so-small matter of his books. He’d be ridding himself of an unwanted companion, true, but he’d also be losing a possibly valuable assistant in the process.
It was this last thought that decided him, albeit grudgingly.
Paul needed to stay.
Adam disliked having to admit he’d been wrong, but he had little choice.
By the time he’d showered and dressed himself, he was more prepared to face Paul. The mere act of getting dressed served as a reminder of the thoughtfulness of his companion: Paul had re-arranged the chest of drawers so that not only did Adam know what each drawer contained, he knew the range of colours therein.
That knowledge did little to make Adam feel better.
He descended the staircase, stroking the smooth banister as he took each step with care. Yet another reminder: if not for Paul, how much longer would Adam have made do with sleeping on the couch and taking unsatisfactory spit washes in a far from adequate cloakroom?
Adam stifled a sigh.I need to make this up to him.He had no idea what Paul had planned for the day, but whatever it was, Adam meant to accept the thought behind it with good grace. If an opportunity came his way to put right at least some of the hurt he’d caused Paul, Adam would seize it.
He owed Paul that much.
Adam paused in the kitchen doorway, listening intently. Judging by the jerky movements and occasional thuds, Paul was still upset. Adam felt his way over to the table and sat down. All noise ceased for a moment, followed by the sound of pouring liquid.
“I’m sorry, I left my mug upstairs.” An apology seemed an appropriate beginning to the conversation.
