Page 62 of Texts From My Exes
I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes at him. “You deemed me not safe around humans and you bring me here?”
“I did and I do.” He held out his arm. “You can’t be full of rage at an aquarium, it’s just distracting enough. I would have taken you to the zoo but it’s closed right now and they frown upon trespassing and since I want to keep my job, the aquarium it is.” He walked up to the front and paid for our tickets. Closing time was in twenty minutes but he didn’t seem to mind paying full price. “So.” We both grabbed brochures and started walking through. “Do you want to talk about the rage or do you want to just walk, grunt, cuss occasionally, and then point at the fish—I do draw a line at tapping on the glass.”
“Understood.” I winked. “And honestly, life is just confusing. This whole situation is strange. I went into it to prove a point which I think I did, in fact, prove. I get to keep my apartment—at least I should, I have all the required proof—everything is going perfect and yet somehow it feels like I stepped into a bigger mess than before.” I leave out the parts about Ezra. But he surely saw my bathroom break down, though he was kind not to say anything. Maybe that’s what guys did when they were in competition. No, wait that’s not right, because in his mind there really wasn’t any—Ezra’s not Aaron’s. Ugh I was confusing myself.
“Ah, the footfalls of fame.” Aaron led me into the dolphin section.
I nodded gravely. “It’s not for everyone. Really, it’s not.”
One dolphin in particular swam toward us with its stupid happy face, stupid tail, and stupid grin and—on God—I almost yelled at it. An innocent dolphin. But instead of yelling, what came out of my actual mouth was:
“Dolphins are the Christian Greys of the sea.”
Aaron blinked. “…What?”
“Hate sex brought on by trauma,” I said, dead serious.
“They…do drugs too,” he offered cautiously. “The puffer fish thing. Gets them high.”
I snapped my fingers. “Exactly. They pass the poor fish around.”
Aaron winced. “One has to wonder if the fish dies.”
“Wouldn’t you?” I shot back. “If you were passed around by an entire dolphin family? ‘Here, Grandpa, take a hit. Hold on, Junior, let me just take out my teeth?—’”
I winced. “Too far?”
“I couldn’t stop though—I had to finish the scenario.”
Aaron burst out laughing, shaking his head. “For the record, it’s been a weird date, but at least I got a second chance.”
Was he already counting himself out of the game?
Guilt pricked at me as we drifted into the next section in silence. Rows of colorful fish swam past, glowing under the tank lights. One in particular—a blowfish—puffed itself up until it looked like a spiky balloon.
“Wow,” I muttered. “Same, buddy. That’s exactly how I feel after a bad taco truck decision.”
Aaron snorted. “You’re unhinged.” He gave me a long, assessing look, still smiling. “But honestly? I kind of like it. Keeps me on my toes. Most dates I go on, the wildest thing a girl says is that she’s ‘really into yoga.’ You’re out here accusing dolphins of doing drugs and body-shaming blowfish.”
“Hey,” I pointed at the tank, indignant. “He puffed first.”
Aaron’s grin widened. “Sure. Or maybe he just snuck me some blow.”
I choked on a laugh. “You didnotjust make a dolphin coke joke.”
He raised an imaginary wineglass toward the tank. “To our suppliers.”
I shook my head, laughing in spite of myself. And that was the problem—he really was a good guy. He just wasn’t liar-pants Ezra.
My notifications buzzed again. And again. Louder now, echoing in the aquarium tunnel like sirens. Perfect.
“We close in five,” an employee announced as he walked past.
“Yup,” I whispered, speed-walking toward the exit with Aaron at my side.
Aaron had been nothing if not normal and kind through my entire psychotic break. I mean, really—who yells at a dolphin and lectures about dolphin sex in the middle of a date? (Hi, me. I do that.) The poor guy was just swimming, and I’d been ready to square up like,What are you looking at, bro?All because my phone wouldn’t stop blowing up about Ezra’s kiss.
The drive back was quiet, the only soundtrack Chase Atlantic’sFriends,which honestly made me more painfully aware of my predicament.
