Page 32 of Texts From My Exes
She glared. “You. You are not allowed to be smart and attractive. There are rules, Ezra, and you’re breaking them. I’m allowed to be cute but neurotic, not necessarily hot butsometimessexy. I cannot be all three. You? No. You can’t be the full package.”
I smirked. “That was four things.”
She waved me off and shoved the whiskey at me. “Take a swig so your brains are as fuzzy as mine.”
I took a long drink and passed it back. “Why am I needing to be fuzzy?”
She snapped her fingers at me. “Those jeans—do they snap or unbutton?”
I took a step back. “Should I be concerned about your mental state? And… they unbutton.”
She took another drink, slammed the bottle onto the table, and reached for my waistband. “I’m proving my theory right!”
“Harper! Stop! You’re acting crazy!”
Her fingers dipped into my briefs just as a knock sounded—followed immediately by the electronic chirp of someone punching in a code.
She didn’t even hear it, probably because she fell forward as she fought me to unbutton my pants.
Two things happened at once: I sprang free—nearly smacking her in the face with mynotsmall dick—and her mom walked right through the front door.
“No!!!” Harper shouted, falling down and scrambling..
Her mom took one look at us, her eyes rolled back, and she started to fall.
I lunged forward just as Harper’s dad caught her, then looked up at the scene—me, pants halfway down my ass; Harper on her knees, crawling toward her mother.
I did the only thing my panic-stricken brain could come up with.
I yelled, “ONLY FANS!”
Her dad closed his eyes. And sneezed.
CHAPTER
THIRTEEN
HARPER
I’ve learned a lot about myself these past few months and I just wanted to say I’ve finally come to terms with the truth, Harper, I think it was you, not me.
–Steve
Ishut the door on my parents—slammedit, actually—and leaned against it like that would somehow keep the humiliation from following me inside. It didn’t. It still came like the security blanket I didn’t need or want, bearing heavily across my shoulders.
My mom had revived just enough to mumble something about “losing her eyesight” before Dad steered her out into the bathroom, and Ezra… Ezra had the audacity to still be standing there with his jeans half-zipped and a smirk on his face like the whole thing was anamusing anecdotehe’d be telling for years. I can’t even remember what we told them, did it matter? I glared at Ezra.
“Don’t,” I snapped, pointing at him. “Not a word, not now. This is somehow still your fault.”
His smirk twitched. “I wasn’t?—”
“Don’t.” I repeated again this time in more of a low timbre.
I stormed into the kitchen like a mad woman on a mission, grabbed my laptop, and opened the date footage.
I had all of it, the martini spill, the nipple betrayal, his “you look beautiful” in that low, ruin-your-life voice and stupid Lila freaking Yale. I had him leaning in like heknewwhat he was doing to me. I mean, he’d been a famous YouTuber, one I’d religiously followed until he disappeared. Rumor had it that he went to college and got tired of all the attention. I’d been bummed, how had I not recognized him all this time? To be fair he never lied, he’d acted in his videos and he said Vex was an actor I just didn’t know he was actor Ezra or that Ezra had an entirely different life he’d never filled me in on. Did he just assume I knew?
I cringed thinking about the end of the night—me tight-smiling through fan club questions while he looked at me like he was memorizing my face.
