Page 3 of Surrender
“Oh yeah... she was really nice. I’ve never met such a sweet girl.”
“Please, she farted cotton candy. She was too nice.”
“How can you be too nice?”
“I don’t know, but that one left that line far behind her. Even when she sneezed, it sounded like a bunny sneezing.”
“If she was so nice and you liked her so much, then why am I still single?”
“Because, like I said, she was too nice. She was driving you crazy. Don’t you remember? You begged me to get rid of her for you.” Sophie snatched the chicken wing from Keefe’s hand and ate it.
“Okay, fine. But what about Susan? I loved her.”
“You loved her ass and long hair and how she fell on your every word. She was vile, Keefe.” She pointed her finger at him as she lifted her beer. “And guess what, bro? You called her that, not me.”
“Oh yeah. I forgot. She really was a bitch. Ick—and she had that clicking thing she did with her jaw.” He shivered at the thought.
“Yeah, and that’s what all of them are like. Some worse than others, but every one of them was the same. You always go too far. She’s either too damn nice, or she’s a Susan.”
Keefe laughed and finished his slice of pizza, and as he reached for another, he got an idea. It was crazy—of course, most of his ideas were—but it just might work.
“All right then, since you’re so smart, Miss it-only-took-thirty-five-years-but-now-I’m-marrying-the-love-of-my-life, why don’t you pick one out?”
“What? A girlfriend, you mean? Keefe—ewww. I’m not procuring you women.”
Keefe exaggerated a sigh. “Well, who better than my best friend?”
“No. We’re close, but that’s—that’s just crossing a line.”
“Who else should I ask? I know, I’ll call Mom. She’s always telling me to settle down. I bet she’s got someone in mind.”
He was baiting her. Sophie knew it. But she wasn’t giving in.
Keefe sighed. “All right, fine. I guess I’ll just be alone forever, watching everyone else be happy. I don’t need a wife or children.” He paused and looked away, staring out the window at the garden. “I always wondered if I did, if they would be twins like you and me. But that’s okay. I’ll just get a cat.”
Man, did he know how to manipulate her or what?
“All right! Jesus! Fine! But I won’t go looking! I’m not your pimp! If I just happen to meet one who I think might be nice, then maybe—maybe after my skin stops crawling—I’ll introduce you.”
“Since when are you a prude?”
“I’m not a prude. Just forgive me if I don’t want to think of my brother having sex with a woman that I set him up with. Ew!” Sophie stuck out her tongue and shook her head.
“Okay, when you put it like that, it does sound weird.”
“See? It’s weird!” She took a long swig of beer and then another as she considered.
Her brother was notorious for choosing bad girlfriends. Jesus, the last one he had was over a year ago—and what a doozy she was. A total airhead who was like a parrot: cute but stupid. But Sophie knew better than anyone how lonely Keefe would be once she moved out. He was right—everyone had someone but him, and that was no fun. And what if he met another self-centered slut like Susan? Dear God, save us all.
Keefe’s problem was that he didn’t know what he wanted. He loved women. It didn’t really matter if they were short, tall, fat, skinny, dumb, or Einstein smart—not that he ever brought one of those home. Her brother was just too damn nice and didn’t know how to say no.
So where did that leave Sophie? Should she help him or not?
“I don’t know, Keefe…”
“But you’ll do it, right?”
“The chance to find you someone who I actually get along with? I’m in. Call it making up for leaving you on your own so soon. But if I find someone and it doesn’t work out, then I’m out. Deal?”
