Page 6 of Arse Over Irish Teacup
“He what? That dickhead!”
“When our waiter came to take our order, he tried ordering for me: a tomato, mozzarella and basil salad. Not as an appetizer, but as my entrée. I told him I’m allergic to tomatoes, and that I was going to order the fettucine alfredo with grilled chicken. He said he’s not jiggy with that. What does that even mean?”
“What is he, four? Beth, you have got to stop letting men treat you like this!” That irritated Lauren like nothing else.
“That’s easy for you to say. You had the biggest attitude of anyone ever since we were kids! I remember the teacher taking roll call and when she asked your name you said, “none of your business!”
Lauren laughed. That was a good one. “How old were we?”
“That was the first day of kindergarten!”
“All I remember about that day is hair and glue.” The two friends laughed at the memory.
“So, who won at Poker tonight? Did she smoke the cigar?”
“I won, and no,” Lauren said slowly. Gram rarely lost a poker game. “She just held it between her teeth.” Lauren sat beside Beth again on the couch and joined her arm with hers then laid her head on her shoulder. “It won’t be long now, will it?”
“I don’t think so.” Beth put her arm around Lauren and stroked her brow for a minute. Although it was inevitable, neither wanted to think of a world without Gram in it. Enough of these thoughts! “I’m going to get out of this dress and have a slice of that cake. That restaurant served desserts the size of a scallop.”
Beth peeked in on her grandmother as she passed her bedroom. The room was dark, but with the light from the hallway flooding in, she could see the pink flowered wallpaper. Everything was quiet and Beth nearly turned away and closed the door, except it was almost too quiet.
“Lauren?” Beth called out as she approached Gram’s bedside.
“Yeah?” When Beth didn’t reply, Lauren got up from the sofa and came into the bedroom. “Something the matter?” Beth was taking Gram’s pulse.
Beth turned to Lauren and slowly shook her head.
She placed Gram’s hand at her side with loving care, kissed her forehead, then turned to Lauren, who was shaking her head as her tears fell. Lauren gathered Beth in her arms and held her tight as they shared their tears.
“Gram wouldn’t want us crying like this, you know?”
Lauren nodded and wiped her teary eyes on her sleeve. There had to be tissues nearby. Lauren looked around the room and spotted a box on the dresser.
Beth nodded her head as she and Lauren slid to the floor beside the bed.
After a few minutes of hard bawling and nose blowing, the pair reminded themselves that this was not what Gram would have wanted.
“I’m going to miss my drinking buddy.” Beth forced a chuckle through her tears.
That gave Lauren an idea. She blew her nose one more time before getting up and leaving the room, returning with the bottle of Jameson 18 and two fresh tulip glasses. Beth held onto the glasses while Lauren poured a drink in each, then they took a drink.
“Remember when she gave us our first drink?” Beth asked.
“New Year's Eve. We were thirteen, and she made us pink squirrels. Then we both got sick, and she said to never forget that. We haven’t.”
“Yeah, pink squirrels are awful,” Beth said. They clinked their glasses of whiskey. “Remember when she caught us making out with those two college guys?”
“I’ve never been so scared of another human being in my life.”
“The guys were terrified!” They laughed some more. “Remember, they were falling over themselves trying to run away?”
“Yeah. Two brawny football players running scared!” Beth refilled her glass, then Lauren’s, and took a long drink, which gave her a little too much time to think back. That football player may have been a sissy, but he’d been a great kisser.
Beth hadn’t had a great kiss in a long time. Maybe it was her? Maybe she was the problem? She’d always believed Mr. Right was out there. She just hadn’t met him yet. But what if he’d met her, witnessed a clumsy moment and split?
She stared blankly at the pink wall in front of her. “I’ve gained weight since taking care of Gram. I should lose a few pounds.”
“Beth, you’ve always been happy no matter what size you were, so what’s brought this nonsense around?”
