Page 58 of Paradox
The heat from the chilli is almost instant on my tongue, but he is right, it isn’t as bad.
My first bite is weary, but as soon as the sweetness of the beet and carrot mix with the salty fat of the spam, I understand everything.
As I swallow, Jin already has a hand cupped at his ear. “Go on, I’m ready,” he says, waving his other hand and beckoning me to speak. “Tell me how good it is.”
I smirk, "It's fine,” and the look on his face turns it into a proper smile. Slapping my hand down on his shoulder, I tell him, "Calm your farm, little man. It’s good. Just maybe a little less go–chu–jang next time.”
Expecting a smart ass follow up response, I look at him directly and notice him staring at my hand as it rests on his shoulder. But I don’t move it. I just keep looking at him until he raises his eyes to meet mine.
Fuck, they’re pretty.
I’ve never known a guy's eyes to ever look like that. Almost as though they’re begging me to do something, though I don’t know what and I’m not sure why. I just know that I want them to keep looking at me for as long as possible. But I know it’s weird, so I let my hand slide slowly from his shoulder, my fingers grazing over the sleeve of his jacket because I don’t want to let him go.
Blinking, and shaking my head, I randomly stab at the chunks of food until my fork is full, and wish that I’d allowed myself to drink tonight because I need it right now.
“Thanks for cooking,” I tell him with my next mouthful.
“Like I said earlier, it’s no worries. I liked doing it. Plus it’s not really cooking. It’s more preparing then just letting it sit. The fire does most of the work.”
“Well, I’d be happy to wash the dishes if you would prepare more.”
"I'd rather you taught me how to make your sourdough."
"I can do both."
“I’ll believe it when I see it.”
“I’m serious.”
“I bet you think you are.” Jin puts his hands in his lap and straightens out his legs, crossing them at the ankle. And I can’t help but feel like he’s trying to get as far away from me as possible. “It’s okay. I don’t mind doing both. It’ll give me something else to pass the time with.”
“I do want to start helping you with the cleaning, though.”
“And I won’t be surprised when I’m doing everything again by next week.”
“I want you to read those books.”
“I already know everything I need to know about Taylor Swift and Olivia Rodrigo.”
“It’ll probably turn every woman in the world against me, but Shawn always did have shit taste in music.”
“Look, they’re not shit. They’re just not for me, orus,I guess.”
“That is a nicer way of putting it.”
“Gotta be good at something.”
“You’re good at a lot of things.”
I can hear the sarcasm in the sound of his breathing before he even says a word. “And how would you know that? You’veavoided me most of my life, and you haven’t exactly taken much of an interest in me since I’ve been here.”
He’s not lying. Just the same as with everything else he draws attention to, Jeon Jintae is right, and I’m the evil prick.
“You’re good at calling me out.”
“And you’re good at beating me up for it.”
“I’m sorry.”
