Page 15 of Paradox
He’s definitely the kind of guy who would see a woman on the side of the road with a flat tire, pull over to help, do the bare minimum, then fuck them on the bed of his truck. I still can't believe that Shawn was the one who cheated on him and not the other way around.
My fingers trace over my neck then press down on my Adam’s apple. It hurts, it’s a deep pain, like a bruise when you poke it. Then I’m doing the same over my left cheek bone.
I’ve never felt weak before. Not like this. I might be small, but I can run fast, skate well, I've got a black belt in Hapkido, and I played soccer all the way through to my senior year. I’ve always been smarter than average. I was popular in high school. Girls flirted with me, and I dated a few of the cheer flyers, though nothing much came of it because I didn't really have anything to give.
I still remember the stories they'd tell me about Eden and my brother.
It started in middle school. From twelve years old the girls would ask me about them. But they were more than twice my age. What sixth grader should have even heard of the things theywere asking? And it only got worse until junior year when they wanted to be introduced.
Seriously? Why would I want to be involved in that?
I never introduced them but I still don't know if they gave into the temptation.
God, that sounds horrible to say about my brother, but I don’t really know him underneath all the family stuff. I’d always stay with him a few nights during school breaks. He’d take me go karting or into the city to a proper skate park. But we never talked, not really. And never the stuff an older brother should teach their younger brother about.
“Hey!” There’s a knock on the back window above the sofa. Spinning around, I see Eden hanging upside down from the roof, his knotty hair falling straight to the ground. “Why the fuck are you just sitting there?”
“I… I'm ready to do the floors, but there was nothing in the bathroom.”
“Under the stairs. And don’t let yourself get dehydrated again, cause I won’t be taking you to the hospital.”
Without answering him, I head for the cupboard half hidden by the exposed wooden stairs that lead to the loft. It’s mostly filled with stuff I'd expect like battery packs, and spare lanterns. But there's also a shelf at the very top that's packed full of books, all lined up backwards.
“Stay the fuck out of my room.”
“Does it look like I’m in your room?”
“The fuck did you say?”
Grabbing the carpet sweeper, I walk back to the window and slam the base of it on the rug. “Why the hell would I want to go up there? It’s probably twice as filthy as it is down here.” I grin at him through the glass and let the handle of the carpet sweeper fall against the sofa. Then I return from the cupboardwith window cleaner and a rag. Kneeling on the pillows, I spray the cleaner right over Eden’s face.
The snow is late this year. We’re well into November, but the air snapped so cold last night I don't think I trust the storm to stay away until next week.
The wood Jin chopped last night won't last long.
Twice the wood, twice the water, twice the food.
I can't stand the sight of him, but I can’t starve him either, no matter how much he deserves it. No matter how much I want to rip that smart ass tongue right out of his mouth. And I would have done it already if having him here didn't make me forget about Shawn for most of the day.
Fuck, I’m gonna miss her smile. How her tits always half hung out of whatever she wore. And, my god, I’m gonna miss fucking her in the back room at work whenever the hell I felt like it.
After screwing the last new solar panel bracket into place, I stand and kick against the roof, because, fuck Jeon Jintae, that’s why.
Taking the hammer from my belt, I stomp my way to the corner of the roof, kneel, and start to pry out the nails of the furthermost roofing panel—continuing until I reach the two cracked boards that need replacing. With their nails removed, I pull the first one away from the roof only for a section of it to crumble in my hands and the rest to fall to the ground.
After finding the second board in the same shape, I throw the hammer, and curse into the trees as loud as I can.
“Get your ass out here, Jin!”
“What? What is it? Have you hurt yourself?” he asks, breathless after running from inside.
“Does it look like I’m hurt?”
“Well it doesn’t look like you're alright,” he shoots back at me.
“Go get the hammer.”
He looks off in the direction I gestured. “Why?”
