Page 133 of Paradox
“I love you,” I whisper to him before he’s completely out of sight.
“I love you, too,” I reply back, deepening my voice to sound more like his.
Embarrassment instantly washes over me and I throw myself backwards until I’m lying like a lovesick loser, spread out over the sofa.
He loves me.
He loves me not.
He loves me.
He loves me not.
I cover my face with my forearm, because how pathetic is that?
How dumb is it—
“Fuck!” I curse, and slap my hand over the pocket of my hoodie when my phone vibrates.
“Shit!” It happens again.
Fishing it out, I stare wide eyed at the screen as text after text appears on the screen. All from Tek.
But what did I expect to happen?
I haven’t charged my phone once till now. I just let it run out.
Eden loved to torture me with early mornings—or maybe that's an excuse.
Maybe I liked being helpless.
Maybe I saw the frustration on Eden’s face every time Shawn texted him, and used it as a selfish justification.
Or maybe I was embarrassed.
Maybe I hated myself.
Maybe I wanted to be locked up here.
Maybe I liked the idea of being Eden’s slave.
And maybe it’s because I couldn’t stand seeing all the desperate texts from my brother…
When all the texts from the past two months stop flooding in, I roll over, put my phone on the floor, and just stare down at it.
I didn’t tell Eden I’d charged it last night while we were in bed.
I’d wanted to, but I needed to do it on my own.
I needed to reach out to my brother with nothing influencing what I write, because it’s my responsibility to let him know.
About being safe.
About where I am.
About Eden…
The majority of the texts are from the first week I was ‘missing’. They are frantic, begging me to tell our parents where I am, even though I’d texted them all that I was safe—no matter how questionable that safety might have been.
