Page 59 of Paradox
“I don’t believe you.”
“Jin—” He stands, and with fists clenched by his sides and one foot on the porch ready to leave, I grab his wrist.
“Stop it.” He snatches it away. “You’ve tormented me for as far back as I can remember. Then, when I came here, you started hitting me. I was determined to grin and bear it in order to stay. And I could, until you started having these moments of softness. I can’t handle them, Eden, because they make it so much more painful when you snap again. Then, the other night I… I thought we’d reached a place where you considered me a friend, only for you to ignore me for three days. If you hate me, that’s fine, but the mood swings have got to stop. Sitting out here with you is nice, it makes me happy, but I’d rather not feel that at all if it means you’re going to pretend I don’t exist the next morning.”
“Fuck right off!”
I throw my cell phone against the slanted roof of my loft and watch it bounce onto my mattress.
This is why I have a protective case.
Sometimes I just need to break things.
The phone stops vibrating and I get up to stand by the window. As I stare at the snow outside I hear the shower turn off below me, and just like every time now, I automatically think of Jin naked and bang the side of my head with the heel of my palm.
I hear my phone again.
I swear to god she better not be calling for the fifth time in ten minutes.
Looking over my shoulder, I see the traitorous cunt’s picture lit up on the screen.
Without thinking, I swear, and kick it through the space in the banisters for it to crash land on the living area rug.
“What was that?” Jin comes running out of the bathroom in just a towel with wet hair dripping down his bare chest.
It’s so much longer when the water weighs down the waves. But I don’t like it when it covers this much of his face.
Goddamn it, Eden!
I dig my fingernails into my palm. “Shawn’s been calling again.”
“How many days in a row is that now?”
“I don’t want to think about it. But it’s been five times since you got in the shower.”
“You think she’s realized she had the better guy to begin with?” he asks, looking up at me with one eye closed and a cheeky smile.
I move to scraping the skin of my lower back beneath my shirt because nails in my palm just aren't cutting it anymore. “Misses the better dick, more like.”
He rolls his eyes; "Aren’t you bold?” and runs his hand through his hair, smoothing it back off his face.
I scratch harder. “It’s true.”
“I couldn't see much in the dark,” he snickers, and I want to slap that smug grin all the way back to Broadrock.
“Fuck you.” I force a smile. “The honeymoon period will be over. She’ll have realized that Reeze was never gonna be able to keep up with her.”
“What makes you so certain?”
“Shawn’s a freak.”
Jin rolls his hand, gesturing for me to elaborate.
“She gets off on danger. The more likely it is that she’ll get caught, the more she’ll want it. And Reeze isn’t an anything, anywhere kind of guy.”
“But you were, or… are?”
“Yeah… I guess… maybe… You know, looking back, I think I was turned on by her being turned on. The more she was gaggingfor it, the more I wanted to give it to her… I don’t buy into the whole, women are sluts, thing either, by the way.”
