Page 178 of Paradox

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The silence in the cabin is oppressing.

Jin falls in a crumpled heap in front of me.

And still, I don’t do anything.

“Why? Why did you do that?”

Because I love you.

“You promised you wouldn’t. You told me I could be the one.”

I know.

I fucked up.

It’s over.

It’s all over.

My eyes fall to my left leg.

I pull the hem of my sweatpants up over my knee, and push down the sock.

Reaching behind me, I pick up the ink pot and Nomi.

There’s an empty patch of skin on the inner side of my calf.

I hold the skin, and start poking.

It’s over.

It’s all over.

I’ve got maybe ninety minutes before all hell breaks loose.

Hunched over the rug, I open my eyes to the shadowed wet patch made by my tears.

I wanted more time.

I’m not ready to leave.

What if Tek brings Mom and Dad?

If that happens it’ll be straight to the airport where I’ll be forced onto the next flight to Korea.

No asking what I want.

Straight back into everyone else making decisions for me.

Eden could fight off Tek. But not my father as well.

Or my mother's words.

They’re the worst of all.

“Let’s run away.”

I know he’s there, so why won’t he answer me?

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