Page 167 of Paradox
"I'm not… Why do you think I left?"
"You said I should rot in hell, then stormed out."
"You weren't the only one who was hard."
"Tell me what you did," he whispers in my ear then kisses my neck.
"I went straight to my room… I slammed the door… I screamed into my pillow… I didn't want to touch myself."
"But you did?"
I nod. "I had to… I had to know—"
Without any say in it, Eden has me turned around and kneeling before him. With one hand holding my waist, he slides his other into my hair. "I need to look at you when you tell me. I need to see in your eyes how much you wanted me all the way back then."
"But I hated you."
He lets go of my waist to pull down my sweats and bare my ass. "Show me what you did."
Without looking away, I spit into my hand and start jerking myself off.
"Is that all?"
I shake my head;no.
"What were you thinking?"
"About you… About you bursting into my room and catching me." Eden gropes my ass and I steady myself by holding onto his shoulder with my free hand. "I thought about you making fun of me… Calling me names… Swearing… But then you crawled into bed with me. I screamed, and you shut me up by kissing me."
"Did you think about me fucking you?"
I shake my head again. "I didn't last that long… I'd… I'd never…"
Eden holds my jaw and whispers against my lips, "Is that when you knew?"
"Yes," I answer him.
"You've wanted me since then?"
"No… I knew I liked guys. I still hated you."
"Fucking hell," he growls and wraps his arms around me. My dick squashes against him. I tug at his hair with both handsas we eat each other alive. It's dirty. Sloppy. I'm burning and freezing at the same time, and it feels so good.
Eden pulls back just long enough to spit on his fingers, then his lips are back against mine.
I feel him knead my ass with one hand while the fingers of his other tease my hole.
"You… You… You need to tell me, too," I pant out in the little space I have between breaths.
"As soon as I heard your bedroom door close, I was out of there. Nothing made it go away. Not even a cold shower. I called you so many names but I couldn't deny how much I wanted you. How much I wanted to see you." Eden sinks his fingers inside me. I know by now that it's more than one, and it's already not enough. "I convinced myself that you were doing it, too. That you were up in your room fucking yourself with a toy because it made me feel better. Like I wasn't the weird one for wanting to come to the thought of my best friend's little brother."
"What was I doing?"
"You were on your knees; backside up off the bed, your face mashed into the covers with a dildo in your ass."
"I wanna do that for you."
"Do you mean it?"
