Page 125 of Paradox
He shakes his head, "You’re an idiot,” and lowers the shotgun.
With my eyes still scouring the trees and forest floor, I wrap my arms around him, but it’s not as satisfying as I’d have hoped it would be. I can barely feel him. I could be hugging a giant teddy bear and it would feel mostly the same. There’s softness, but none of the warmth that should come along with it.
I squeeze him tighter. “I miss you, Jin.”
“I haven’t gone anywhere.”
“I know. But you don’t look at me the same.”
Whether his eyes are searching for movement as well, I don’t know, but he keeps his head forward. “I wouldn’t say that’s totally true.”
I lower my forehead to his shoulder. “Even if it’s only a little bit, it still hurts.”
“I don’t wanna hear about it, Eden,” he tells me, raising the barrel again, and I bite the tip of my tongue to stop myself from saying something stupid.
I watch the shotgun move slowly from side to side.
Jin’s never been hunting before, but just like with everything else I've taught him, he’s taken to it like a pro.
His initial hesitations have meant his shots ended up missing, but his form is perfect.
“You're good enough to be on your own, now. We could split up. It’d give us a better chance to spot more.”
He shakes his head, quickly changing directions towards a rustle around fifteen yards away. But when it turns out to just be a falling pinecone, he relaxes again. “I don’t want you to go.”
I sigh. I try to make it quiet, but the heat of my breath gives me away.
“I like knowing you’re close.”
Unable to hold it in any more, I ask, "Why don’t you call me hyung anymore?”
“Because you don’t deserve it.”
“Jin, please. It’s been three days.”
“I don’t care if it’s been three weeks.”
“So why did you come out with me today?”
“Just because I’m mad at you doesn’t mean I don’t want to spend time with you.”
Having had enough of talking to his hood, I pull it down. “Do you know how much of a mind fuck that is?”
“I’d say it’s about as big as having the shit beaten out of you by the guy who's secretly obsessed with you.”
Touché.“I’ll never stop apologizing for that.”
“The list is growing.” His continued monotone nonchalance is like a stab in the sternum.
“I know, I—”
“Sent a naked video of me—”
“And I deleted it five minutes later.”
In a huff, he turns to look at me for the first time. “That’s beside the point and you know it.”
“All you could see was me, your ass, and my dick.”
