Page 121 of Paradox
“I don’t want you to realize I’m a mistake.”
“I don’t want you working with me because I don’t trust myself.”
He hugs me tighter, but he can’t hide the way his body moves when it cries. “I want to believe you.”
“So why can’t you?”
“Because you worked with her. And I know what you got up to.”
“Goddamnit, Jin. It’s not about that. I couldn’t give a fuck if I had to stop working every time you looked at me so I could drag you into the back room and fuck you senseless. You could be as loud as you wanted. You could announce what we were about to do, but it’s… It’s them… Everyone else. Every othermanthat walks into the shop… I never got jealous when guys would look at Shawn. If anything, it turned me on more. But with you…” I ball my hands underneath him and bite his shoulder because the urge to come all over him right this second is very real. “The thought of anyone looking at you; of thinking about touching you…”
Jin’s hands find their way to my face, and they guide me so I’m hovering over him again. “That’s going to happen. But not nearly as often as you think it will. And it’ll be nothing compared to the women who’ll continue to lust over you.”
“But I don’t want any of them.”
“And I don’t want anyone other than you, either. But wouldn’t you rather have me close?”
“I’d rather lock you up.”
“You’ve got me locked up now.”
My next exhale turns into a smirk. “I can always threaten to bring you back here.”
“Is it really a threat if I'd come willingly?”
Crawling back, I lower my body just to the side of his, rest my cheek against his chest, and drape an arm over his waist. “I just don’t think I can watch it happen while I'm meant to be working. It'll be too distracting, and… you're too good for that job, Jin. And so is Carey. I don't want either of you getting stuck in a job with no room to grow.”
Jin’s hand brushes the hair off the side of my face, then he combs his fingers through it. “Can I still come and visit?”
“I’d be offended if you didn’t.”
We lay there in silence, and I feel at peace again.
How can a nineteen-year-old make me feel so complete?
How can being in the arms of someone so small make me feel so safe?
My dick is still mostly hard, and his is resting against my arm, but I no longer feel the urge to do anything about it. Nor do I feel the need to move.
I'd spend all day up here if he wanted to. Just lying with him, my head hypnotically moving in waves with every cycle of his breath as it rocks me back to sleep.
I'm wracked by a powerful yawn—the kind where a sound comes from deep in your throat. Jin catches it, and my head shakes as his lungs suck in as much oxygen as they can take. When he settles, my eyes are heavy. They close of their own accord. The thin fingers still stroking my hair, start to falter, and I can hear the beat of his heart slowing.
Then my phone vibrates.
Jin’s hand fists, yanks at my scalp, and then he growls, "Tell her to fuck off.”
I make no attempt to move. “Telling her isn’t enough.”
“Then call her.”
“That’s giving her what she wants.”
“Then turn your phone off.”
“Jin,” I respond in a tone that says;don’t be stupid.
“Eden,” he replies in the same tone.
