Page 119 of Paradox
“Just for tonight?”
His jaw goes slack and he stares off over my shoulder into nothingness.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” I giggle, peppering kisses all over his face.
After spinning his head to catch a cheeky peck on the lips, he puts me down. “Put the pants on before I change my mind.”
Ilost my virginity to the first girl who made an offer without a second thought. I say I don’t regret it, but I do wish it meant something. And whilst Jin isn't the first virgin since Marina, he is the one I've spent the most time thinking about—a lot of it having to do with how terrified I am that I won’t be able to control myself once I feel him squeeze around me.
I just don't trust myself yet.
But he’s getting desperate.
All night he stays wrapped up in my arms. If I roll over, he clumsily crawls over my body to snuggle back against the warmth of my chest.
He whines in his sleep. Moans my name. Unconsciously humps against me when his dreams get dirty. He gets so embarrassed when he wakes up having come on me. But I love it. It feeds my ego like nothing else ever has.
Sometimes, I even jerk him off in his sleep when I’m woken by his ass grinding against me—my dick just as hard as his. It’sawkward to handle us both at the same time, but I manage; Jin subconsciously fucking my fist while I work myself into a frenzy. And in the morning I explain away the amount of cum by telling him he must have had more than one dream.
I know I shouldn't do it.
I know it’s a betrayal of his trust. But I’m slowly dying.
I feel like a predator.
We’ve barely left the cabin in more than two weeks.
I’ve fucked his thighs and throat that many times that his legs are chaffed and his voice is hoarse.
His body is in a constant state of healing from the amount of bruises I’ve left on him. Mostly from my mouth. The ones he begged me for because he said it was his choice.
He's my every thought, and my every annoyance.
He shits me to tears, but also smiles at me with those gorgeous eyes and dimples that I would kill for.
I’m a masochist for him. For his nonchalance. But mostly for that dead look he gets when he’s mad at me. When all expression falls from his face and his eyes glaze over, unfocusing slightly, like just being around me is so much of a chore that his soul leaves his body. That shit digs at me like nothing else and forces my monster to the surface. The monster that would do anything for him. No matter what it is, there’d be no hesitation. And that scares me almost as much as him finding out how much power he really holds. Because one look of utter indifference from Jeon Jintae could end with the world burning around us.
Fuck his family.
Fuck my business.
Fuck everything on the face of the earth but me and him…
I nestle my face into the top of Jin's head. His thick black waves are matted from sleep, and his hair smells like my shampoo. His whole body smells like me, it has since he took hisfirst shower here. And it’s even stronger now that he sleeps with me.
He makes the cutest squeak as he wriggles in my arms.
His feet flex and his legs straighten in front of him as he stretches. His ass rubs back against me, and a dry, groggy little laugh follows it up. “Sorry. It really wasn’t on purpose this time.”
I pull him higher on the pillow and nuzzle my nose behind his ear. “You know I’ll never complain.”
“I bet all my money that one day that won’t be true.”
“I’d feel too guilty taking your money when you have so little of it.”
“It’s fine. I’ll be able to make more when you give me a job at the shop.”
“Is that so?”
