Page 68 of Deep In Love
I barely hear the confession, the pained words she believes are true. But it’s not a yes, and I lean into that.
“You don’t get to make that decision.” I take a step and lift Charlie’s chin. “You don’t get to decide what I want or don’t want. What I consider burdensome or worth the effort. But, in case I haven’t made myself clear, you are worth it. To me, you willalwaysbe worth it.”
She doesn’t say anything, but her pupils glass over like she’s fighting to believe the words.
“I need to know if you thinkI’mworth it,” I continue, “because I can’t stand here and give you everything if you’re not willing to try to do the same.”
Does she see I’m as scared as her?
I have no idea what I’m doing, standing at the cliff’s edge, teetering, and all it would take is one gust of wind before falling. She has no clue how deeply she’s embedded in my chest.
Relationships require work—two people making a conscious decision to choose each other. It’s not fate or destiny; it’s a daily choice to see the other person, to acknowledge their flaws and fears, to cherish what makes them special, to champion their accomplishments, and pick them up when they stumble.
I’ve witnessed it in my own parents, who strive every single day to lift up the other. Even in their fights, they never forget the love they share. I hear it in the way my abuela talks about the forty years she shared with my abuelo before he died, how he would have stolen the moon for her if she had asked, and she would have done the same.
No relationship is perfect, but rather, it’s a complex weaving of two people giving it their all—that’s what I want with Charlie.
My stomach churns as she remains silent. One minute grows into two, and bitter disappointment sits heavily on my chest. Maybe I’m not worth it after all.
I spin to leave when she grabs my forearm, digging into my skin.
“I-I’m sorry,” she sputters, and I pull my arm from her grip, exiting the bathroom. I need some air to escape the sickening feeling in my chest that’s telling me I’m not enough for her. “Mateo, wait!” Charlie flies out of the bathroom. “I’m trying to say—”
“I hear you loud and clear.” My throat tightens. “Let’s go back to being—”
She launches herself, hurtling into me so forcefully I stumble back onto the bed. Her head collides with mine, and pain searsagainst my temple. Clutching my cheeks between her palms, she forces my head upward as she stands between my legs.
“I’m in. I don’t know what it means, and I can’t tell you I won’t mess this all up, but you’re worth facing the fear. I just need you to hold my hand while I face it.”
Her thumb swipes against my cheek, and I lean into the touch, my lashes fluttering shut. The words she offers are a balm, soothing the hurt, and when my eyelids crack, she’s watching me with an open expression, full of fear and admiration. It’s a shock to the system, seeing her openly vulnerable.
“You have to let me in,” I say. “No more running away.”
She nods, dropping her forehead against mine and wrapping her arms around my neck.
Letting someone know how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking, is a form of intimacy. It’s something that requires trust, and we’re still building the foundation.
“Be patient with me, okay?” she murmurs against my skin.
“Always, bruja.Always.”
Charlie stands, smooths out her hair, and draws her shoulders back. She nods, as if she’s having an internal conversation with herself, then fiddles with her clothes.
“Breakfast and then to the lab?” she asks timidly.
“Sounds like a great plan,” I respond, and before I can say anything more, she leans down, places a small kiss on my lips, and escapes into the bathroom—all with a creeping blush. I’m still sitting on the bed when the door creaks open and Charlie pops her head out.
“Oh, and Mateo?”
I hum.
“You lookhotwhen you shave.”
And with that, she slams the door shut, leaving me sitting on the bed with unshakable pride.
“Look, we got a worm!”
Charlie dangles it between her forceps before she places the creature into a specimen bag and labels it. We quietly process soil samples collected on yesterday’s ROV dive, each of us enthralled in our task except to offer a brief break, like now, where one has an update.
