Page 59 of Deep In Love
She gently places Sir Charles Darwin the Bobblehead on the desk, surrounded by all of her crystals, a shrine to her icon. I bit my tongue when she decorated the first time, pulling a trinket out, one by one, and finding the perfect spot on the small desk space.
“You would have rather slept on a deck chair than with me?”
I try to ignore the stabbing sensation in my gut.
“After I confessed I had acrushon you and said you smell like a breeze, I thought about throwing myself overboard to avoid the embarrassment of facing you.”
My laugh is deep, worsening when she punches my shoulder and disappears into the bathroom.
“A summer breeze, huh?” I yell through the door, “Do I also smell like sunshi—”
The tease dries up on my tongue as Charlie steps out of the bathroom wearing a bubblegum-pink silk pajama set that leaves little for the imagination. Small strawberries decorate the fabric, and she shifts on her feet, wringing her hands. A long, straight scar starts at her mid-thigh, disappearing beneath her shorts.
I’ve lost function of my tongue and the beating of my heart, which races erratically in my chest.
Charlie scans the room as I stare, enraptured by her beauty. She coughs, and I shake away her siren grip, only then noticing her discomfort.
“Can we watch TikToks before bed?” She twirls a loose strand of hair, inching toward the bed. “I-I like when we watch them together.”
I hear what she doesn’t say.She was upset we didn’t watch them together last night.
What’s happening is foreign, odd. There’s an air of nervousness, both Charlie’s and my own, but the exhilaration of the opportunity and unknown flows through my veins.
“Sure, bruja,” I say, my voice hoarse. “We can watch them every night, if you’d like.”
“Deal.” Charlie wets her lips, and pleasure trickles down my spine. So, so softly, she asks, “Seal it with a kiss?”
She asks as if she expects me to say no, when in reality, that question is an answer to one of my many wishes when it comes to her.
Leaning down, I graze the scar along her collarbone, and as she shivers beneath my touch, I seal the deal with a kiss.
Chapter 18
Charlie
Mateo and I kissed.
I send the text and slip my phone into my back pocket, ignoring how my heart flutters like a kaleidoscope of butterflies have taken residence in my chest. The confession still rings in my ears, his words a caress against my skin.
Mateo wants to date me. Not fuck for a night or have a secret fling.
He wants more withme.
I’ve never had someone feel that way—confess they’ve thought about me for two years—and it terrifies me how deeply I hoard the knowledge, holding it close to my chest like it’s precious.
For most of my life, I’ve put weight on other people’s words and opinions, never learning how to separate their thoughts from my own, and those opinions have defined me, pushed me, helped me grow.
A teacher in middle school told me I was bright and had potential, and I’ve chased those words ever since. Cheryl returned apaper with comments suggesting I could do better, and I worked to prove her right. Mateo called me brave, and I wanted to show him that, though it frightens me to my core, I can be.
It’s why I wore my pajamas out of the bathroom while the light was still on. I could be fearless if he looked at me like I was the only thing in the room. I could be courageous becausehe believes I am.
“Dude, the ocean is, like, the most peaceful place on the planet,” Jett says, startling me so thoroughly I yelp and collide my fist with his stomach. “Ugh,” he groans, doubled over, clutching the railing for support.
“Shit, I’m sorry.” I pat his arm awkwardly as he rights himself.
Can’t sneak up on a girl deep in self-contemplation.
The water is as smooth as glass, endless, as the first rays of sunlight peek over the horizon. I lean over the railing, gazing down into the blue abyss. I’ve always wondered what’s below the surface, what lurks where the sun no longer shines.
