Page 53 of Deep In Love
“I’m bleaching Nalgene bottles. I’m more than capable of handling it on my own.”
His lips purse, and I physically recoil, stumbling into the door. A single look and it’s like I’ve been shallowly sliced a hundred times.
I’m paralyzed by the glare, rooted in front of the door, desperate to understand what I did. A tear slips out, trailing down my cheek, and then I run out of the lab, escaping the way he looks at me like I’m dirt on his shoe, which is how I feel.
Tears falling freely, I slip into our room and lock myself in the bathroom, dropping to the floor. Mateo has never looked at melike that before, like I am the root of every issue in his life, and all would be right if I disappeared.
And I hate it, the way one glance cuts like a knife and how his opinion of me matters so deeply I’m crying on the bathroom floor. I hate this version of myself, the one so desperate to be valued that it’s become my driving point for existence.
I spend every spare hour working on side projects for Cheryl because I’m terrified to say no and disappoint her. I made Mateo nothing more than someone to beat, all to feel a sense of accomplishment. But now I see Mateo—he consumes my vision—and he refuses to look at me.
I’m deep within a space of uncomfortable self-reflection when the door to the cabin unlatches. Mateo rustles around, and after wiping my tears and taming my hair, I find a morsel of courage to step out of the bathroom.
Mateo’s facing away, midway through disrobing, and maybe it’s the sight of his back muscles—okay, it’s definitely the rippling muscles—but I stumble and face-plant on the floor with a loud, unattractive yelp.
He spins around, a wild look on his face, but I pop off the ground in an embarrassed frenzy. I grab my water bottle and a book Amy gave me and sprint to the door.
He takes a step forward. “Are you okay?”
They’re the first words he’s said to me today that hold no undercurrent of anger or disdain, and I don’t know how to handle that, so instead, I offer him a mute thumbs-up and walk backward to reach the hallway.
“I’m going to the top deck for a while, if you want to join,” I say before I spin on my heel and run away.
The blazing sun beats against my back as I devour my book. It’s captivating, the world-building so immersive that, for the last few hours, I’ve been able to forget everything that haunts me—Mateo, my thoughts, massive metal cyber trucks.
I understand what Amy means when she says books are her escape, a way for her to leave the real world behind, if only for a short time.
The human woman is discovering that her new planet is host to ten times the number of men than women, and she’s the mate of a chief, when laughter fills the deck, dragging me back to reality.
Lifting my head, I forget the book entirely at the sight of Mateo walking beside Jett, carrying a towel and…is that a fucking thigh tattoo?
The book slips from my hand and falls to the ground as he moves closer, displaying the artwork above his kneecap. Thin lines intersect thick, bold ones to create a stunning depiction of a monarch butterfly, wings stretched as he moves.
My heart pounds in my ears as I scramble to recover my novel while the guys sit on chairs across from me. I’m eye level with Mateo’s tattoo, and as he twists, more ink peeks out from beneath his shorts. I’m nearly salivating at the idea of discovering what other ink he hides.
Neptune, why is his thigh so hot?
Why am I so hot?
Words blur on the cream-colored pages, and the ocean breeze does nothing to cool my skin while I eavesdrop on Mateo and Jett’s conversation.
“They’re amazing,” Mateo says, and I peer over the pages to see what he’s referring to. “I’ve been addicted since I was a kid. Wanna try one?”
“Hell ya, man. Hit me with it!” Jett snags the lollipop from Mateo’s hand and pops it into his mouth. “These aremaddelicious.”
Wind whips my hair, and I duck my head backdown to hide the emotions evident on my face. I don’t need Mateo to like me. Who cares what he thinks about me?
The thought falls embarrassingly short. At least I can retreat into the fantasy world where the alien man dotes on his mate. The big blue guy is making his mate breakfast, when the sunlight disappears.
I peer up, hoping it’s Mateo, but my stomach falls as Shaun’s cheeks pull up in greeting. He’s been nothing but kind to me, but the one person I’m interested in is avoiding me like I’m the cause of the contamination in his experiment.
“I was hoping to find you here,” Shaun says, perched on the edge of the seat beside Mateo.
“Here I am.” My laugh is stiff and uncomfortable as Mateo’s scrutiny pierces my soul, a lollipop sticking out of his mouth. “Just reading.”
I hold up the book, and Shaun’s eyebrows crinkle. “Is that an alien on the cover?”
“Yep. A big blue one.” The words slip out of my mouth, and dildo-gate appears front and center in my mind. The way Mateo swung the vibrator in the air, his hand engulfing the toy.
