Page 2 of A Play For The Heart
After shaking hands with the commissioner and taking photos on stage, I head back towards Sawyer confidently and ready to tell her how I feel. As I sit down, I notice the grin she has on her face, aimed down at her phone.
“What is it?” I ask, sliding into the seat beside her, a smile overtaking my face.
“Oh, it’s nothing,” Sawyer responds hastily, nearly throwing her phone back into her purse. On a normal day, one without the uncertainty of the draft and the impending love confession, I would have noticed Sawyer is acting odd. In my current state, I’m too amped up. I’m riding both the current adrenaline rush of getting drafted and the preemptive rush of when I tell Sawyer how I feel about her.
“If it has you smiling like an idiot at your phone, it's clearly not nothing,” I say as I nudge her shoulder with mine. “C’mon, Sawyer, I’ll tell you a secret if you tell me,” I bribe her, knowing she won’t be able to resist. There’s nothing she loves more than secret-sharing.
“Ugh, fine. But only because it’s your big night,” Sawyer flips her hair behind her, the smell of citrus and flowers wafting toward me. I lean back in my chair, waiting for whatever silly thing she’s going to say so that I can finally confess my feelings. “Declan asked me out, and before you say anything about him, I said yes and I’m excited so please be excited for me too”.
My brain takes about ten seconds to process what she said, and when it does, my stomach drops. I feel as though I’m going to throw up.
You’re fucking kidding.I try to convince myself this isn’t happening.There’s no way she would go out with Declan.I look at her face, searching for a sign that she’s teasing. Except, I don’t see any. All I see is Sawyer looking back at me, features guarded, waiting for me to finally respond.
Completely oblivious to my internal turmoil and apparently tired of waiting for my response—which I still haven’t determined myself—Sawyer continues, “I told you my secret. Now you have to tell me yours; it’s only fair.”
My mind is reeling as she waits for me to share, scrambling to figure out what to say, how to salvage the situation.
There’s no way I can tell her now.But If I don’t tell her now, then it may be too late.
“Henry,” she chides, growing impatient as she waits for me to say something.
“I—I’m glad you were here with me tonight,” I manage to choke out. Even if my parents had been able to make the trip to Chicago for the draft, I wouldn’t trade Sawyer's presence for the world. Not exactly the secret I had in mind, but not a lie either.
“That was your secret?” She looks at me incredulously.
“Yep,” I respond, plastering on the most convincing grin I can muster. Not my most impressive work.
She continues to search my face like she doesn’t believe a word I’ve said, but thankfully she lets it drop. And if I couldn’t love her more, Sawyer chooses to change the subject, rather than hound me, something I know she wants to do based on the curious gleam in her eyes.
Except she doesn’t know you love her.With that very depressing thought, I edit my mental to-do list for the night.
Get drafted.Check.
Get the girl.
Make it through the night without crying.
That last one would take an honest-to-God miracle.
“Seattle is great!” Sawyer says, enthusiastically. “Can we go whale watching when I visit?”
“Of course, we can.” I smile at her, silently praying for the night to come to an end.
CHAPTER 2
“Take me to that place where you always go”
On + Off—Maggie Rogers
six months later
Sawyer
“IjustmovedtoSeattle actually. My best friend moved here a few months ago and I decided that I should make the move too. Crazy, I know. I got a job at this great non-profit which is basically my dream job. I’m the event coordinator. I plan things to raise money.” My Uber driver glances in the rear-view mirror, shooting me a did-I-ask-for-your-life-story look and I can feel the embarrassment flood to my cheeks.
In my defense, the silence in this car is deafening. I just flew across the country by myself, and now I’m moving into an apartment with a random person whom I’ve never met. So, in all my anxious glory, I decided to overshare with my Uber driver.
Sue me.
