Page 82 of A Play For The Heart
It’s all suddenly crystal clear. What I want for my life. I want Sawyer by my side. To support her. To cheer her on. I want the same from her. Not just in football, but in life. The worst part about it is I had that. Before I threw it all away. Because I thought that I was nothing without football.
Well, I haven’t had football in two weeks, and I’m still standing. The thought is freeing. Just acknowledging that I can exist without football breaks the mental chains I had on myself. I didn’t have to be on the field to make a difference in the team.
Football is a part of my life. That much is true. I don’t want to give it up. The injury has reformed the way I think about the sport. Showed me how to love it again. But it’s not who I am. It no longer defines me the way it did before.
I know what I want now.
To be happy. A better person every day. No matter what.
Whether it's playing football or not. Declan was right. I would never tell him that, but every word he said was true.
Right now, I have everything I could ever want. Teammates, friends, goals, dreams. I’m only missing one thing. The most important thing.
And it’s about damn time I fix my mistakes.
CHAPTER 34
“So pay attention now, I'm standing on your porch screaming out”
Stubborn Love—The Lumineers
Henry
“Ineedyourhelp,”I jump Jack and Deon as soon as they sit down in the two seats across from me. Since I’m injured, I boarded the plane first and I’ve been sitting here, waiting for them to show up so I can get their advice.
They move much slower than I have patience for.
I have a girl to win back and only a five-hour plane flight to figure out how to do it. Needless to say, I’m on a time constraint. It’s all hands on deck.
Jack’s eyes glitter and I already know he’s picked up on exactly what I’m talking about.
“Help with what?” Declan says as he moves in front of me and sits down beside me. The action has both Jack and Deon’s mouths hanging open and eyes bulging from their heads. Both of them defer to me on what to do, at a loss with the situation.
“He stays,” I state, leaving no room for argument.
After our heart-to-heart and the moment in the locker room, I’ve decided I like the new version of Declan. Do I still think he’s an ass for what he did to Sawyer? Of course, I do. But that’s her battle to fight, and both he and I could use another friend. So, I’m making him a new member of the group. Jack and Deon will need some warming up to the idea, but once they get to know the new version, I think they’ll be fine.
Until then, I have bigger, more pressing issues. Like finding a way to apologize to Sawyer for being an idiot, and then convincing her to give me another chance. I feel like I’m David and this task is Goliath, except I’m not going to win.
Thankfully, both Jack and Deon say nothing in response to the expansion of our group and peel their gaze from Declan and focus back on me.
“You’re gonna win her back, aren’t you?” Jack says, excitement spreading across his face.
Deon and Declan turn to me, waiting for my response.
“Yeah, and I need help. I have a lot of groveling to do and not a lot of time to plan how to do it. I don’t wanna spend any more time away from her than I already have.”
“Do you know what you want to say to her?” Deon asks.
Fuck. I hadn’t even thought that far ahead.I had my lightbulb moment and realized I needed to win Sawyer back. That was supposed to be the hard part. I grimace at how foolish that line of thought is. This is exactly why I need help.
Noting my reaction, Deon shakes his head laughing. “I love you would be a good start.”
“And an apology,” Jack adds.
“Maybe tell her you’ve been an idiot, but you took time to figure out what you wanted, and now you know. And then you tell her what it is,” Declan states simply, causing all three of our heads to turn.
“When the hell did you become smart?” Jack asks, looking at Declan skeptically.
