Page 45 of A Play For The Heart
“Honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips, we should just kiss like real people do”
Like Real People Do—Hozier
Sawyer
Nathaliebumpsherhipagainst mine, jolting me back into existence. My daydream washes away, leaving me standing in the center of a gym, children running around me.
“Why are you grinning at your phone like that?” She asks. Her face lights up. “Oh. My. God. Are you seeing someone?! You have to tell me if you are. I need to live vicariously. Dating has been brutal. I’ve given up.”
It’s been two days since the incident in the alleyway. At least that’s how I’m referring to it since I still haven’t established if it was a good idea or insanely stupid. I’m leaning towards good but a small part of me is afraid that it might have been idiotic. I’m still coming to terms with the decision I made to kiss him because it irrevocably changes our friendship. He confessed his feelings and I fled, like a bat out of hell. My instinct was to run. I’m not a fighter. I made it ten steps out of the coffee shop before I realized I made a massive mistake and I ran back, praying he hadn’t left. I don't regret kissing him because the kiss with Henry was mind-boggling. World changing. Quite frankly, no kiss will ever compare. If he hadn’t had a hold of me while he kissed the shit out of me, I would have ended up on the ground. In the middle of the alley.
To quote the greatest movie of all time,The Princess Bride, ‘since the invention of the kiss, there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure, this one left them all behind’.
Truer words have never been spoken.
But…
A small part of me is afraid that it might ruin our friendship, that if we dive into this and something goes wrong, our friendship will change or end. Which will crush me. I try to banish the small doubt, but it lingers.
While I’ve been a whirlwind of emotions, feeling happy and sad and concerned and scared, Henry has been messaging me non-stop since he left for L.A. on Saturday. We’ve texted before, but never like this. Usually, it was only to ask each other something or share something exciting. Now it’s about everything and nothing. Neither of us has mentioned the massive elephant in the room, but the messages are not platonic either. They are flirty and fun, and not in any world did I imagine that this would be what Henry and I are doing. I’m not even sure what the hell we are doing. Another thing that concerns me.
One thing I am definitely not going to do, though, is voluntarily tell Nathalie about it, especially since it’s so new and I have no answers and I don’t want to answer any questions she will undoubtedly have.
“No!” I yell in response to her questioning, my phone nearly flying out of my hand. I’m not seeing Henry. But I’m also not sure that I’m not seeing him. It’s confusing and I don’t love the gray area. I look away, scanning the gym, watching all the kids run around. I pointedly do not look at her, but I can feel her eyes burning holes into the side of my skull.
Micah runs towards Nathalie and me, a goofy grin on his face. He screeches to a stop in front of us.
Saved by a seven-year-old. Thank you, universe.
“Where’s Henry, Miss Sawyer?” He looks around as he asks, like I’m hiding Henry somewhere and if he looks hard enough, he’ll be able to spot him. Henry shows up once, and now every couple of days Micah asks if he’s here or when he’s coming. It's honestly adorable.
“He has a game tonight, so he can’t be here.”
Micah’s shoulders slump and a frown forms on his face. He’s clearly disappointed by my response. I can’t even blame the kid either. I’m also disappointed that Henry is in L.A. and not here with me. I could barely stand Henry driving away, so the fact he’s in an entirely different state is not a concept I am enjoying. I knew it was going to happen, but it still didn’t prepare me for the disappointment. When he originally left Indiana, I missed him, but not in the same way I do now. Then, there were no feelings. Now, it feels like part of me has left with him. Almost like until he comes back, I am not quite whole. It’s not a fun feeling to have, and I am still attempting to understand how to cope with it.
“Miss Sawyer?” Micah asks.
“Mhm?”
“Is Henry your boyfriend?”
I snap out of my daydreaming and stare down at Micah, wide-eyed. Jeez, this kid is either super perceptive or assumes all adults who are friends are dating. I’m hoping for the latter. Nathalie jerks her head towards me, suddenly interested in my response.
“Oh, um no. We’re just friends,” I can feel the heat rushing to my cheeks and the blush beginning to form. I’m not a great liar. But it’s also not technically a lie. He’s not my boyfriend. He’s just my best friend who I made out with in an alleyway. Totally normal relationship. Apparently, Nathalie noticed my reaction as well, since the smirk she’s giving me is screaming ‘I knew it.’
Micah ignores my response and does the one thing every child loves to do. Make things incredibly awkward.
“Henry and Miss Sawyer sittin’ in a tree,” Micah starts. “K-I-S-S-I-N-G.” He continues to sing the song while the blush on my face continues to deepen. From a soft pink to a deep strawberry red. He finishes his song and just skips away, without another word. If the kid wasn’t so adorable, I would give him a stern talking-to. Embarrassing people isn’t nice. Especially people with skin paler than Casper the Ghost. There’s no hiding my blush.
Nathalie’s bent over in laughter at the whole ordeal.
Traitor.
I’m glad one of us finds this amusing because I certainly don’t. I was just embarrassed by a seven-year-old. Worse, he wasn’t wrong. We were just K-I-S-S-I-N-G only it wasn’t in a tree; it was in a grimy alleyway.
“Do you want to explain why you turned red when Micah mentioned kissing and Henry in the same sentence?” Nathalie questions me. She looks at me knowingly, apparently waiting for the answer she already knows. Only a minute ago, she was asking me if I was seeing someone. Now she’s figured out something is going on with Henry. She’s too smart for my good.
I take a deep breath and regale the entire thing to Nathalie. From the subtle touches to Henry's confession in the coffee shop and the alleyway make-out session. Throughout the entire story, she stares at me, enraptured, like what’s going on between Henry and I is a Christmas Hallmark movie. I finish with the texts he sent me yesterday and wait for what I expect to be an explosive response. But it never comes.
