Page 111 of This Blood that Bonds Us
Winter would never end. We were stuck in a time loop doing the same things over and over again.
It would always be me alone staring up at the dull sky and missing them.
Rubbing my chest, I sighed in relief when the familiar pain returned. My brothers were still with me somewhere. With a flick of my lighter, I lit up a cigarette and let the warmth of the smoke fill my lungs. I grabbed the photo from my pocket—the one I wanted to pretend didn’t exist. My brothers were next to a stained-glass window, and Lukedidlook tired, but after studying for a bit, I recognized the curl of his lips. It was that face where he tried to not laugh at something my brother said. Zach was angry as always, but he was looking directly at my brother. They were getting through it together.
I sighed and went to put it back in my pocket when I noticed small black writing on the back.
Havenville Church
666 Wildbend Rd.
Oh no.There was another test. A new location.
I wasn’t going to go. Absolutely not. I went to tear the photo but stopped.
What if I needed it?
It would be fine in my pocket. No one else needed to know. It was just a photo with an address on the back. It meant nothing.Not important enough to alarm everyone with. I secured it back in my jacket pocket. It wasn’t a bad secret if I didn’t act on it, and I definitely wasn’t going to do that.
When I went for the door of the cabin to return to my hopeless pile of blankets in front of the TV, I was greeted by a dozen balloons in my face.
“Happy Birthday!” Mom, Aaron, and Kimberly shouted simultaneously.
They stood like statues waiting for a reply—probably a happy one—but at the mention of my birthday, I was reminded of the timing I’d wanted to forget by tearing the calendar off the wall. It had been mocking me, and I swear it whispered to me at night.
Two weeks. Another two weeks had passed with no ending in sight.
“I forgot,” I said, feigning a smile. If Luke could smile through his pain, so could I. “This is so . . . great.”
My delivery needed work.
I eyed the sage-green balloons—my favorite color. They’d taken my absence as an opportunity to hang a tattered banner and some streamers. None of it looked new. Mom probably borrowed it all from her friends. I swallowed the lump in my throat when I saw the cake. Light blue and covered in sprinkles.
“I know I’m not as good of a baker as your brother, but I figured it didn’t matter because you couldn’t eat it anyway.” Mom smiled and rubbed my arm.
Smile, Presley. You can do it.
“I love it. Thank you.”
My heart was beating me up from the inside. I really hoped I could avoid the “Happy Birthday” song. Zach and Luke had been to every birthday party since I was born. I wasn’t really wanting to hash out how it felt to not have them there singing in that weird way older brothers do.
“I did buy candles.” Aaron looked at me with that smile that used to not work on me, but something about him putting in all this work to be a leader made me want to humor him. Sue me.
“Fine. Let’s do it.”
Kimberly handed me a colorful paper hat while biting the inside of her cheek. “It will be cute for pictures.”
Oh no. Why would anyone want to remember my birthday? The first birthday without Zach taking me on one of our forbidden excursions. The first time Luke wasn’t there to wrap his big arm around me and squeeze the life out of me.
I let them have their song. Their picture. I used to love that type of thing. Maybe I still loved it, but I couldn’t focus on anything other than the cause of the weird pain in my hand earlier and the very real clue I had sitting in my jacket pocket. I waited it out and went for the door at the first sign of a pause.
“Okay, well, I’m going to go to warm up the car for work.”
“Wait! We have a surprise for you.” Kimberly shared a tentative glance with my brother.
Joy.
“Wait here.” Aaron smiled.
