Page 9 of This Blood That Breaks Us
Luke
Sometimes, being optimistic didn’t work out. You could go your whole life being the one everyone looks up to and still turn out a colossal failure with little to nothing to show for it.Sometimes, hoping too much leads you down a dark path to the one place you never wanted to be . . . miles from home.Home.
Brooklyn never felt like home. I was happy to leave the house at eighteen. Home for me was where peace existed. Only once in my life had I felt at peace, then that place burned.
A full moon greeted us as dusk turned into night, and the smell of smoke stuck to my skin and hair. I thought of washing it in the sink at the horse track, but I wanted it to linger a while longer.
Stop. That’s not helping.
It was a curse. My inner voice never stopped trying to find the bright side. I’d spent the better half of my life pulling myself up and pushing on while packaging everything into a perfect life lesson so I could teach my brothers.
That only worked when you weren’t fated to be with a vampire queen.
I’d said it more times than I could count.“Think of what you want to be doing five years from now.”
I had hopes for my little brothers.
One: they’d be close so even if they didn’t have Zach and me, they’d have each other. Two: they’d know how to identify what they wanted and go after it and not be afraid to take chances to get it. Three: they’d use the lessons I taught them and cherish the memories we had and remember me for the person I was.
I’d been planning it all before I realized that’s what I was doing. Giving my life up to The Family and prepping my brothers for my departure. It started in high school. I distanced myself from them and gave up on things I’d wanted in junior high. I’d never have a normal job, and any thoughts I had about joining the military flew out the window. As a kid, I thought of myself as some hero, so going into the service was appealing. Zach would have followed me, though, and I would have loved the company, but I hated that he chose to do things he didn’t want to do because he was worried about me.
I wasn’t a hero.
My five-year plan never mattered, but I was happy I’d given my brothers one. Despite what Akira said about the prophecy, I didn’t believe my brothers were meant to be a part of this. But this place had haunted every corner of my life. Maybe fate was real.
That explained why I stopped being able to answerWhat do you want to do when you’re older?a long, long time ago.
The cold wind slinked its way under the cloth of my jacket as I stood at the edge of the boat. It was a large-windowed barge with covered seating and space to stand in the front. Ezra mentioned a ferry service going to and from the island for tourism. As the island grew closer, my heart drummed faster and faster. I wasn’t ready to see Her.
“How are you feeling?”
Ezra appeared beside me, the tips of his hair frozen from the freezing rain slowly turning to snow.
Terriblewas what I wanted to say.
“Fine,” I said.
I should have been mad at him, but I wasn’t. Especially when he was the only one who might help us. Zach made it more than clear that he didn’t trust Ezra, and I didn’t either, but he had aided our escape once. He didn’t have to do that. Without Ezra, we’d have never made it out of Brooklyn and neither would’ve Mom.
“It’s going to be all right. You’ll be surprised how quickly things change.”
“Where are we going?”
“The castle. We have a couple safe houses around, but this was Her original home. She wanted to come back.”
At the mention of Her, my skin itched. A feral buzzing tore through every inch of me. My bones practically vibrated with the anticipation of seeing Her again. That brought on an eclipse ofemotion I wasn’t ready to unpack. There was no use in being afraid. I would soon be near Her. It had been carved in stone many years ago. I was meant to be on this boat closing the distance between us.
I had people I needed to protect. Which meant I couldn’t drown in my own misfortunes yet. Not when they needed me.
I nodded. “I’ve never seen a castle before.”
Always a positive.
Staying on Ezra’s good side was the right move.
“There’s a first time for everything.” Ezra slapped me on the shoulder and retreated into the darkness of the ship.
That brought me back to the beginning.
