Page 140 of This Blood That Breaks Us
When I opened my eyes, my brother was standing in the doorway.
His eyes were dark as night. Every sense snapped back into my body as Her glamour fell away. I shrugged Her off and went for Luke, who retreated through the door. At the first step of my presence, Luke turned on a dime and slammed me into the wall. Hard. Hard enough to leave an echo trailing through the hallway and make my ribs ache. The lit flames in the hallway flickered.
“What the fuck was that?!”
Luke had never cussed at me before. Ever. Not like that.
“It was nothing.”
He slammed me into the wall again, this time busting through the wall. “Don’t you ever touch Her.”
He flung me, and I hit the wall again.
His absence left me hollow in the silence of the hallway.
She had truly bewitched his mind, and instead of standing up for him or finding a way to help, I’d run to Her. My brother was turning into a monster, and it was my fault. It was all my fault, because I couldn’t let him go. He told me it would happen, and I never believed him. The room spun and the realization set in. I was alone.
My composure slipped for a moment. A sob escaped my throat, and I covered my mouth to stop it. The tears forming in the corners of my eyes couldn’t be allowed to fall, because I’d never be able to contain them again.
Two members were coming down the hall. I dropped my hands and pulled my shoulders back. Composure returned to me and left me encased in steel. There was peace in perfect composure. They stalked past me, stopping a half a second tooslow to bow. I could have let it go and let them pass . . . but why would I?
“Stop,” I said.
They did as I said with their eyes averted to the ground. I took a page from Ezra and grabbed one by the collar and kicked the other in the shin.
I couldn’t be soft or sad, but I could be a monster for all of eternity. It was better than feeling, and with the ache in my bones from the sheer force of Luke’s wrath, I wanted to feel numb again.
“Bow.”
They both kneeled but not nearly low enough.
I fisted my hands in their hair and forced their faces onto the ground. “Every time you see me, I want your fucking face on the floor. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” they said quickly.
“Yes what?”
“Yes, sir.”
Forty-Six
Zach
It was worse than limbo. Hell dragged me down into its depths, and I shackled myself to the comfort of my bed to stop it from destroying me completely. It was the only thing that was solid. It never moved. Someone came in every day to put on newsheets even if I didn’t use them. Connell came in every couple of hours to give me updates, scribble in his notepad, and try to get me up, but he never gave me a good reason to.
I stared up at the stupid skylight in the ceiling and shielded myself with a pillow.Fuck the stars.
How much longer could I feel sorry for myself? I had forever, so a pretty long time.
I talked to myself too much, but Luke had barely mumbled a word over the last few days. I could pretend like I didn’t care, but who was I kidding? This was my fault. My brother had turned into a lunatic because I didn’t try harder to get us out. I didn’t want this, though.
I’m such a dumbass.I was the worst kind. The kind who should have known better and instead laid around and let things happen. I’d thought I was fighting, but I hadn’t fought hard enough. Luke would have. If our positions were switched, he would have done things differently. He’d have fought.
I wanted to spend every day of my eternity thinking about what a fuck up I was. I’d already spent all night doing that, sitting with Will in his cage while he begged me to let him out and called me every obscenity when I didn’t.
I hadn’t accepted it yet; all I could do was replay the last thing he’d said to me over and over again.
I should have saved them. If Will were there, he’d have been pissed I didn’t keep my promise.
