Page 124 of This Blood That Breaks Us
I’d have gone right over and taken her if Luke wasn’t looking at some random girl like that. With the puppy dog eyes and the longing. In his defense, she was the spitting image of Sarah. I didn’t believe in doppelgänger shit, but the resemblance was uncanny, and she was surrounded by girls laughing and giggling. Sarah was always surrounded because she was magnetic like that. Not in the way people talk about dead people like they were the fucking second coming of Christ. No. Sarah had that same magic gene Luke had that brought people to her.
I tried to focus on my best memories of Sarah. All those days in homeroom and watching her cheer. Glancing behind me at Luke and her giggling in the back of the classroom. But all that was coming to mind was the image of her sobbing in the basement before she was killed. I chugged my drink at the memory resurfacing. If I drank heavy and long enough, could I permanently erase that memory? Only one way to find out.
It occurred to me suddenly, I should have been on my ass with pain. My own and Luke’s from seeing the girl, yet I felt nothing. Comfortably numb. I wasn’t even a drink in. The alcohol numbed the pain from the bond, but not that much. She hadn’t been lying about everything. Ascension changed something.
We stood there drinking for a few minutes while I soaked in every curve of my girl’s body. I was a certified asshole now. If I wanted to eye-fuck a girl in the bar, why shouldn’t I?
I didn’t like biting women, but I was confident that I wouldn’t hurt her, and I might even get her to enjoy it. It was all reckless, but I was riding a high I hoped would never let me come down. Nothing could stop me. Not that guy trying to keep her pinned down in his lap or any of his buddies either.
She’d seen me too, and she wasn’t looking away. She wanted me to come over. Not to rescue her. Oh no. She wasn’t a damsel. She’d laugh in my face as I got my ass kicked by these guys. But she’d want me to try. At least that’s what that hungry look in her eye told me. Her hands moved down the guy’s legs and into his lap, and she whispered something in his ear, all while staring at me.
I needed the taste of the queen out of my mouth, then I could think straight. Despite the barrage of drinks, I felt Her, and this girl wasn’t drunk. She was a bitch even when sober, and I liked it. I let that word sit in my head a bit. Bitch. I could call girls anything I wanted now. With no mom to lecture me and conscience to speak of, I was turning a corner. A new fuck-boy corner.
I hadn’t tried to be intimate with a girl since the Halloween party, and that went to shit.
I was certain if I took this girl to a hotel, I wouldn’t have the same problem as I had at the party. Back then, I was like a burning exposed nerve. I felt so far away from that version of myself. Which was the way it should be. One day when my brain had rotted to hell with The Family, I’d forget them completely. I’d forget all about how it felt to be a big brother. I’d forget their names.
Luke and I could talk about it all like a bad memory.“Remember when we used to be the shittiest big brothers ever and ruined the lives of everyone we came in contact with? Thank god that’s over.”
We’d have a few laughs. Shoot the shit at how long it took us to come to the genius conclusion that we didn’t belong there. We’d get new names. The name of Zach and Luke Calem would die, and the whole world would be better off for it. It was better this way. Fate was better than anything I’d ever had in Blackheart.
I turned my attention back to the girl. I wanted to feel her blood in my veins so bad I was swaying, and she wanted me to fuck her into the headboard. Seriously, what was stopping me? I caught her eyeline again. Sitting on the guy’s lap, she sipped on a martini and popped the olive into her mouth.
Luke would be fine. I wasn’t his keeper.
“Don’t wait up for me,” I called to Luke as I left him at the bar and made my way over to them.
“Can I help ya?” A man with a thick accent stared up at me, pulling her closer to him.
“No. Not really.” I reached my hand out to her and leaned next to her ear where he could hear. “But you can. Dance with me.”
He tightened his grip on her waist.
“I’d take your arm off her if you want to keep it.”
Though he and all his buddies looked like they wanted to try and beat the shit out of me, they didn’t. In fact, none of them even mumbled a word of protest. Everyone in this town looked at me like the boogeyman. I could get used to that.
I pulled her closer on the dance floor filled with mostly drunk girls, and wasted no time grabbing her hips and digging my fingers into them. She smelled of expensive perfume. We danced with her ass on my dick, and I moved her hair so I could feel the pulse in her neck.
“You’re a good dancer,” she said, leaning back into me.
I was not a good dancer, but making a girl want to fuck me was an easy task.
“Is that your boyfriend?”
She wrapped her arms around my neck, and I made sure he got a good view as I grabbed her ass.
“No. Yes. It’s complicated.”
“I’m good with complicated.”
I pressed her back against the pillar, and her eyes widened. With a smile, I went for her neck, nipping her skin and barelyholding myself back from biting her in a room full of people. It wouldn’t matter if I did. If they all went screaming for the door, someone would stop them. It would be quick for them all. I pulled away, wondering if I’d truly contemplated mass murder to drink one girl.
Give into it, Darling.
My body stilled. I’d heard the queen in my head before, but never like that. Not without praying.
“What’s wrong? Do you prefer a girl that likes to hurt you?” she said as she pulled at my hair. Hard. I pushed her into the pillar with my hips.
