Page 24 of This Blood That Breaks Us
“The prophecy was a message from The Divine given to me one night only. After Eros died, there was a solar eclipse. It found me. The path of totality came over us, and the stars spoke to me about you two. There is another coming soon. The path will head over this very castle. The place where the Earth goes dark has found me again. I believe it will have the answers of who is to complete The Guard.”
“I don’t get it. There’s a prophecy, but you can see the future too?”
“Only when I touch you.” She ran Her fingers along my forearm. “And I can’t do it all the time. Only on certain moons. There’s a difference between The Divine’s message and what I see. When I touch you, I can see your most likely path based on your current decisions and the decisions of others. But I can also see many other futures too. It changes quickly. But The Divine’s word is the one true path.”
I leaned into Her. Tethered to Her gravity. She continued to move Her fingers over my forearm and over my ear until they were in the stubble of the hair on my neck.
“Now, canIask you something, My Love?”
I nodded, still enamored with Her.
“How was your time with Kilian and the Legion?”
I swallowed. She was likely angry, and rightfully so. My brother and I left. We bolted and ran to their one enemy for help. There were plans that involved us coming back here and tricking them. Kilian was vague. It all seemed ridiculous now.
“It was . . . he was . . . ” I couldn’t find the words to explain how I felt about all of it because it was confusing, even more so when She looked at me. I was sure then I wanted to leave, but now that I was seated next to Her, the thought of leaving Her terrified me.
“Are you angry with me?”
“No. I understand why you and your brother left. I apologize for my rash decisions with the girl. I should have never punished you so harshly. I just want to know. You could show me.”
“Like . . . you want in my head?” I pulled away from Her, but She reached up to rub the skin under my jaw.
“Only if you’ll allow me.”
“I don’t know.”
“I won’t hurt you. It’s easier. I’m within you and you’re within me.”
“I want to. I’m just afraid.” Normally, I’d cry, but next to Her, I wasn’t sure it was possible. She kept me together somehow, with hopeful anticipation.
“I’m sorry. I promise. Things are different now. I’ll only take care of you. You’re so special to me.” She leaned in and placed a kiss on my cheek.
“Okay.” I couldn’t believe my words as I said them, but I needed Her to keep touching me.
With one hand rested on my hand in my lap, She laid the other across my cheek.
I braced myself for something sick and terrible, like when She’d given me all my memories back and I learned about Sarah’s death, but it was gentle as She waded through my memories of Blackheart, only lingering on the moments with Kilian. The time spent in his study where we’d meet. He mostly asked me questions about our childhood. Kilian wasn’t someone I liked, more like someone I tolerated. Every exchange was a transaction of something. He liked to go through memories, and I’d let him. Hoping it would help a little of this anxious panic let go of me, but it made it worse.
I sucked in a breath as the memory faded. Her hand clenched around mine, and She stayed stroking my cheek. It helped alleviate the weight of it.
“I’m sorry he betrayed you. That must have been scary.”
It was. All of it was scary. Thinking Kimberly and Presley were dead. Kilian locking us in a room, and thinking I wouldn’t be able to get to them. I’d been trying to construct another plan, all the while knowing we were outmatched. All the feelings from the memories lingered in my chest, and I pinched the bridge of my nose. My hand shook from the intensity of it all. All that time in Blackheart. Every panic attack.
She continued to touch me, lightly massaging my tensed forearms.
“Yeah, it was.”
“Kilian threatened your brothers. After having had a brother himself, I would have believed he’d have some understanding of what a bond like that could mean.”
I drew in a breath. My chest grew tight and panic washed through me.
“I’m here.” She gathered my hands in Hers. “There’s nothing to fear anymore. No one here is going to hurt or trick you. And I won’t keep you from your brother.”
With the coolness of Her fingers, the panic left as quick as it came.
“I really did miss you.” Having seen and felt the memories again, I couldn’t hide from that fact. When I was alone in my room, I thought of Her constantly. If I wasn’t training or busy at work at the theater, She was on my mind. There was relief in Her presence.
