Page 36 of Until the Heart Stops
The rest of the words hung between us.For how long?She knew that because of our bond, if another turned her it would drive me mad. And if I was to turn her, I would not be able to leave her for the first decade of her life. The bond was too strong even between maker and fledgling, let alone for blood mates.
And so I chose my words with care, infusing all the conviction I could into the bond. We would be apart, but it would not be forever. She would be in danger, but that danger would pass.
“No one is truly immortal. Even a god can be felled.”
…
Dawn had almost broken over the horizon by the time I made it back to Mael’s palace.
The taste of Lilith’s tears was heavy on my tongue. I’d stayed with her until she fell into a fitful slumber, her hands wrapped tight around my tunic. When she refused to let go, even in sleep, I’d pried her fingers from the fabric one by one. I’d left her with a letter on her bedside table before inhaling her scent deeply and vanishing into the sky.
I was sluggish when I slipped through my open window, limbs so heavy with the approaching morning I could barely stumble to the lightless room tucked into the back of the bedchamber. Paralytic sleep took my body before the coffin lid closed.
Though my daytime rest was usually free of dreams, this morning I found myself standing in blackness, blinking rapidly to clear my vision. Slowly, one by one, stars popped into existence around me, twinkling and dying out only to flare brighter again. Beneath my feet, a great field of wild flowers blew in the nighttime breeze, dots of whites and lavender and blues washed out from the light of the moon.
There, in the center, sat a woman, face gleaming in silver, staring up at me as I gazed down on her. Lilith’s hair was wild and free, swirling around her face and catching in the tears tracking down her cheeks. Her pain was tangible, as if it were a living, breathing thing between us. I wished I could reach her from this high perch and gather her in my arms, holding together all the broken pieces of ourselves we could never truly heal. But she was too far out of reach.
Slowly, she rose to her feet, her diaphanous gown shimmering behind her. Her arms lifted and, though I could not hear her voice, I knew she was crying out for me. Magic pulsed around her, lightning crackled down her arms, sparkling in her hand and leaving behind a shining dagger.
She lifted the blade higher, her eyes locked on mine, and plunged the dagger into her heart.
My scream was lost in the vast oblivion of nothingness. I could only stare on as blood pooled in the front of her chest, dripping down her breasts and landing on the flowers beneath her until the field was nothing but red. Her arms dropped along with her body and her final breath was a sigh of relief.
I cried until I was blind to this world of cruelty. I cried until rivers rose and lakes met the sea. And when I had no more tears left to shed, I opened my eyes to the world only to know that now, I was very much alone.
She was so far from me I would never reach her again.
Chapter 19
To a mortal, the forest might have been silent.
But to Mateo and me, slipping between the heavy boughs and thick trunks these woods were alive. Branches rustled as tiny animals skittered across the bark, undergrowth hummed with insects, hearts beat in a melody.
We did not speak, instead we communicated within our minds. This place was far from Oylen near the northernmost border of the country. Unlike in the city, the snow fell thick here, dampening our footsteps and obscuring any hope we might have had of spotting our quarry.
Hence our silence.
It had been a week since I’d left Lilith in her bedroom, but I swore I caught whiffs of her scent on my skin. The letter had gone unanswered, but I hadn’t asked for a reply, only offered the hope of when we might have a chance to steal another few moments for ourselves. Through the bond I’d caught flashes of text, the earthy smell of leather and parchment, and a frantic rhythm of her heart which made me think shewas researching. But it was the magic beating through her veins that had me the most puzzled.
Her magic was strengthening, perhaps in response to the bond—or perhaps that was my vanity talking. I wasn’t sure if she even realized it yet. But Lilith was intelligent and intuitive. If anyone would realize her pool of power was growing, it would be her.
She was at the market now. Bursts of images sparked across my mind: the strung lights, the scent of the fires, her threadbare cloak. I groaned. The shawl I’d gifted her had been ruined in the fight with the venefica and I had yet to replace it. Perhaps Henry or Gabrielle?—
Mateo hissed, raised a hand and tapped his ear. I listened, reaching through the ambient noises of the forest, down deep into the earth past the worms and roots of the trees. Deeper and deeper until I was sure there would be nothing.
Merciful fucking goddess.
We surged forward together, snow flying up around us as if in a blizzard as we dug. The frozen earth cracked beneath our hands, coming loose in chunks until we delved deeper into the ground. Mateo panted, muscles straining as mine were, and I struggled to maintain a link to the steady rhythm in the ground.
We dug deeper until the forested sky overhead was merely an irregular circle above us. Our hands were caked in mud, faces smeared with it, but the sound was growing louder until the vibration thrummed through my hands with each pull from the earth. Now we were quiet for other reasons, fully focused on our task with clear intentions in our hearts. It was the only way we could hope to survive what came next.
My hands hit metal with athunk.
Mateo’s breathing picked up, as did mine, and weswiped again and again through the earth, throwing up the dirt out of the grave we’d dug. The simple iron box was rusted, dented in a few places near the top, but it looked exactly as Eamon had said it would. We’d asked him why he wouldn’t come, assuming his presence would be a help with his maker. But he’d only smiled sadly and shaken his head.
I have much too much to atone for,Eamon had said.
When the box was fully uncovered, we stepped onto the small lip of earth around it, shaking out our hands. Mateo’s face was set and a muscle jumped in his jaw.
